Bahumbug! That's what I gotta say!
I was so excited for Christmas to arrive, to give and receive presents, to see my mom, to eat pig's feet, to get a cake, to blow out candles, to hear people I care about sing me Happy Birthday...well not a lot of that happened.
I spent the entire time fighting with my mother, she even had the audacity to send me to my room. Err, excuse me CARMEN, but it's MY damn house, and ain't nobody sending me NOWHERE! I got no cake, no one sang me Happy Birthday, and all this holiday season brought upon was headaches, arguments, and lack of cash.
I took off 2 extra days off from work (that I will not get paid for) just so I can finish Operation Clean House, and greet my mother because she decided (without informing anybody else) that she was coming a whole 12 hours earlier.
Then she completely disregards anything I say, including that she is not allowed to smoke in my house. Well she does it anyways, and I almost get evicted out of my apartment because of it. Do you think she cares? Nope! She doesn't even care that her smoking sent my neighbor's 2 year-old girl to the hospital. But I'm not gonna get into THAT because the whole thing left me so livid, that my step-dad/boss told me to take a shot of Moonshine and go home (3 more hours of work I missed cuz of her).
On top of that, me and Darnell called it quits to our...um...friendship+ and that's got me feeling super blah. The sad thing is, even with us not speaking to eachother, he was still nicer to me than other people (like my MOTHER) and made me a Lemon Meringue Pie, YUM. Which I call my Birthday Pie :/
All in all, this was yet another birthday that was ruined by my mother, and another birthday where I got my heart broken. Why do they always wait till my birthday??? *shrugs* Who knows.
Oh well....Happy 23rd Birthday Jen.
This, That, and Whatever.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Looky What I found...
So I was working on Operation: Clean House today; I was cleaning my room, not done btw, and as I was cleaning I found the lyrics I wrote a while ago...and as I sat down to read them I thought, hey, that's interesting, I wrote that? LOL. It's been a while since I wrote it. Thought I'd share it here. :P
Rip You Off
At times my head is empty.
At times it buzzes with noise.
I can't pick up a thought,
I can't pick up a reason.
Incapable of pinpointing an emotion,
A reason.
All I get is a name
(I try to throw it back)
Glue on my hands make it impossible to supress.
(Chorus)
Why can't I rip you off?
I need to tear you down.
The voices in my head,
I think they say 'I want you'
I want you
I want you
I need you
I loathe you.
Thursday morning.
I sit in silence.
Wondering, pondering
Obsessing, confessing,
All the things about you that I secretely love.
All the things about you I pretend that I don't.
(Chorus)
Why can't I rip you off?
I need to tear you down.
The voices in my head,
I think they say 'I love you'
I love you
I love you
I need you
I loathe you
(Bridge)
And all the while
You are oblivious
That I want you (so very)
So very much.
And all the while
I am oblivious
That you never have
And you never will...
(Chorus)
Why can't I rip you off?
I need to tear you down
The voices in my head
I think they say 'I care'
(I care...)
I care...
(I care...)
I care...
...But I could be wrong
Like I said before:
At times my head is empty.
At times it buzzes with noise.
I can't pick up a thought,
I can't pick up a reason...
...(Why can't I rip you off?)
Rip You Off
At times my head is empty.
At times it buzzes with noise.
I can't pick up a thought,
I can't pick up a reason.
Incapable of pinpointing an emotion,
A reason.
All I get is a name
(I try to throw it back)
Glue on my hands make it impossible to supress.
(Chorus)
Why can't I rip you off?
I need to tear you down.
The voices in my head,
I think they say 'I want you'
I want you
I want you
I need you
I loathe you.
Thursday morning.
I sit in silence.
Wondering, pondering
Obsessing, confessing,
All the things about you that I secretely love.
All the things about you I pretend that I don't.
(Chorus)
Why can't I rip you off?
I need to tear you down.
The voices in my head,
I think they say 'I love you'
I love you
I love you
I need you
I loathe you
(Bridge)
And all the while
You are oblivious
That I want you (so very)
So very much.
And all the while
I am oblivious
That you never have
And you never will...
(Chorus)
Why can't I rip you off?
I need to tear you down
The voices in my head
I think they say 'I care'
(I care...)
I care...
(I care...)
I care...
...But I could be wrong
Like I said before:
At times my head is empty.
At times it buzzes with noise.
I can't pick up a thought,
I can't pick up a reason...
...(Why can't I rip you off?)
Thursday, December 04, 2008
One of those days...
It's one of those days, those lonely days where I wish I had a boyfriend soooooo bad! *sighs* I'm sort of having a conversation about it, and this is what I said.
"I need some hand holding and hugs and kisses and snuggles and flowers and just because gifts and I was thinking about you phone calls."
Sorry for the lack of commas and what-nots haha. Oh and my friend said this in response to that...
"What's your number?" HAHA He was joking of course.
It's kinda hard to work on a romance novel when you don't feel love...hehe yeah I know guys I'm wallowing...well...it's my blog so lemme wallow!!!
"I need some hand holding and hugs and kisses and snuggles and flowers and just because gifts and I was thinking about you phone calls."
Sorry for the lack of commas and what-nots haha. Oh and my friend said this in response to that...
"What's your number?" HAHA He was joking of course.
It's kinda hard to work on a romance novel when you don't feel love...hehe yeah I know guys I'm wallowing...well...it's my blog so lemme wallow!!!
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Operation Tap Out That Mutha
NaNoWrimo is officially over, and I didn't make the 50,000, I only made it up to 24,700 or something like that. Now a big part of me is disappointed because I really wanted to cross the finish line. But another part of me is just proud that I wrote and I stuck with it and that I wrote that many words! I've never written anything this long before...and I'm not finished. Just because I didn't win NaNo doesn't mean I'm quitting, I still have a novel to finish writing, thus Operation Tap Out That Mutha is oooon.
Crystal-Rain Love came up with this concept (along with the hilariously awesome name)because she's trying to finish her current novel, and she asked that we make sure she stays on top of things. Well since I have no life of my own, and I've grown very fond of Rain (she's such a great gal)I've decided to be all up on her Black Cherry Kool-Aid, and join her and trying to accomplish our own set goals. Mine being to finish my novel and read more books so I can review them on my Book Universe Blog.
On a quick upadate...I bought a new laptop yesterday, it should arrive around the 5th. I had so much drama with it because I first found the perfect laptop, a Sony Viao in pink (my fav. color) and it was on sale if I bought it online. It was only going to cost around $1,069. Then it went on Black Friday Sale until Monday, so then it was only going to cost $900.99. So here I am running about trying to get the rest of my money together by Monday to buy the darn thing, and THEN....Someone points out anothe website that's having an online Monday sale and they're selling a $2,000 Sony Viao for only $700.00!!! Now this is where all the crazyness began because the cheaper laptop was a different model than the one I was going to get. It was also black...I REALLY had my heart set on the pink one. Well even though the black one wasn't PINK and the keyboard and outer shell weren't as cute/pretty as the pink one, I bought the black one.
Why? Because it was CHEAPER, and because it had a bigger screen (17 inches vs 14 inches on my pink baby). The lappy I have now is 17 inch and I love the size of the screen. If I'm going to play Sims 2 AND 3 I need a BIG screen. :D So I rushed to do what I needed to do and bought the laptop and a flashdrive too, hehe. I'm still going to use my old laptop, and I'll probably take it to work w/ me so the flashdrive will come in handy when I want to work on a novel or read an e-book and it's only in one laptop. But hey at least I have more money for Christmas shopping!
Crystal-Rain Love came up with this concept (along with the hilariously awesome name)because she's trying to finish her current novel, and she asked that we make sure she stays on top of things. Well since I have no life of my own, and I've grown very fond of Rain (she's such a great gal)I've decided to be all up on her Black Cherry Kool-Aid, and join her and trying to accomplish our own set goals. Mine being to finish my novel and read more books so I can review them on my Book Universe Blog.
On a quick upadate...I bought a new laptop yesterday, it should arrive around the 5th. I had so much drama with it because I first found the perfect laptop, a Sony Viao in pink (my fav. color) and it was on sale if I bought it online. It was only going to cost around $1,069. Then it went on Black Friday Sale until Monday, so then it was only going to cost $900.99. So here I am running about trying to get the rest of my money together by Monday to buy the darn thing, and THEN....Someone points out anothe website that's having an online Monday sale and they're selling a $2,000 Sony Viao for only $700.00!!! Now this is where all the crazyness began because the cheaper laptop was a different model than the one I was going to get. It was also black...I REALLY had my heart set on the pink one. Well even though the black one wasn't PINK and the keyboard and outer shell weren't as cute/pretty as the pink one, I bought the black one.
Why? Because it was CHEAPER, and because it had a bigger screen (17 inches vs 14 inches on my pink baby). The lappy I have now is 17 inch and I love the size of the screen. If I'm going to play Sims 2 AND 3 I need a BIG screen. :D So I rushed to do what I needed to do and bought the laptop and a flashdrive too, hehe. I'm still going to use my old laptop, and I'll probably take it to work w/ me so the flashdrive will come in handy when I want to work on a novel or read an e-book and it's only in one laptop. But hey at least I have more money for Christmas shopping!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
2 Free books and a robbery
Today was a crazy day, to say the least. First I won 2 contests, both over at Coffeetime (yay free books). Then, less than 30 minutes before I left work, I got held up. The guy took 2 packs of Newports and all the money in the register, which was about $300.00
We got a pretty good view of him on our cameras, and I gave a description to the police, I may or may not be able to recognize him though, because he was wearing a baseball cap that covered his eyes. But if he wears the same coat I def. could! Hehe.
Trust me when I say that just because I "sound" ok and like I may be joking around, I was pretty freaking scared. I've never been robbed before, and I've never been told that they have a gun and are going to use it if I don't give them all the money I've got. At first I didn't even believe him, I thought it was a joke. Once it was established that it wasn't and I gave him the money and he ran out, I was kinda in shock. Then I felt my insides trembling, but my 5 year old nephew was around and the police were there so I didn't have time to break down. Even the police officer that saw the playback of the tape said I handled it very well, I told him, "Wait till I get home, I won't be handling it all."
So after I got home, I thought about drinking, but didn't. Felt like crying, but didn't. I ended up just laying in bed and letting the fear grip me, and then I took a nap. How was everyone else's day?
We got a pretty good view of him on our cameras, and I gave a description to the police, I may or may not be able to recognize him though, because he was wearing a baseball cap that covered his eyes. But if he wears the same coat I def. could! Hehe.
Trust me when I say that just because I "sound" ok and like I may be joking around, I was pretty freaking scared. I've never been robbed before, and I've never been told that they have a gun and are going to use it if I don't give them all the money I've got. At first I didn't even believe him, I thought it was a joke. Once it was established that it wasn't and I gave him the money and he ran out, I was kinda in shock. Then I felt my insides trembling, but my 5 year old nephew was around and the police were there so I didn't have time to break down. Even the police officer that saw the playback of the tape said I handled it very well, I told him, "Wait till I get home, I won't be handling it all."
So after I got home, I thought about drinking, but didn't. Felt like crying, but didn't. I ended up just laying in bed and letting the fear grip me, and then I took a nap. How was everyone else's day?
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
My NaNo WIP
Just thought I'd do a little procrastination before writing this morning, so I decided to tell you a little about my WIP.
I'm a little surprised at the way it's coming out. It has more sex than I anticipated, and it's kinda sexual in general...not really what I had in mind, but that's what happened. It's also a lot darker than I meant it to be...my heroine--after being possesed by the forces of evil--just ate some hobo's heart.
Yeah I know...EEEEK, but that's what she wanted to do, so I let her. Who knows what's going to happen, I have no clue.
On another note, I'd like to take the time to bitch a lil bit...I'm sick of a certain ex-boyfriend of mine belittling my word count. No matter how much I write, he isn't satisfied. He asked me how much I had written this past weekend, and I told him, close to 5,000. And he says to me, is that all? Are you serious, really? What the hell does he want me to do, write the freaking thing in one day? Then he has the nerve to ask me, well how many weekends have you been writing this? What the hell!? I had to hang up on him because I was going to rip him a new one...who the f**k is HE? He's been doing this since NaNo started and I already freaking told him, if he thinks he could do a better job and write more words than me, and make a cohesive story with a plot, a conflict and a resolution, to go right ahead. And he says, it's not what HE wants to do...what the hell does it matter? Just because I love to write and I want to do it doesn't mean it's any easier for me. At least I'm trying to make my dreams a reality...what the hell is he doing with his life, besides clean bathrooms that is.
Yup I went there, totally bitchy of me, and I sorta apologize, but if he's gonna be mean to me and belittle my efforts, then right back at ya. I'm sick of it being ok for him to be mean, but when I give him a taste of his own medicine then I'm a bitch and it's different because I'm intentionally mean...WHATEVER...I'm sick of it. *sighs* Ok I'm done ranting...
I'm a little surprised at the way it's coming out. It has more sex than I anticipated, and it's kinda sexual in general...not really what I had in mind, but that's what happened. It's also a lot darker than I meant it to be...my heroine--after being possesed by the forces of evil--just ate some hobo's heart.
Yeah I know...EEEEK, but that's what she wanted to do, so I let her. Who knows what's going to happen, I have no clue.
On another note, I'd like to take the time to bitch a lil bit...I'm sick of a certain ex-boyfriend of mine belittling my word count. No matter how much I write, he isn't satisfied. He asked me how much I had written this past weekend, and I told him, close to 5,000. And he says to me, is that all? Are you serious, really? What the hell does he want me to do, write the freaking thing in one day? Then he has the nerve to ask me, well how many weekends have you been writing this? What the hell!? I had to hang up on him because I was going to rip him a new one...who the f**k is HE? He's been doing this since NaNo started and I already freaking told him, if he thinks he could do a better job and write more words than me, and make a cohesive story with a plot, a conflict and a resolution, to go right ahead. And he says, it's not what HE wants to do...what the hell does it matter? Just because I love to write and I want to do it doesn't mean it's any easier for me. At least I'm trying to make my dreams a reality...what the hell is he doing with his life, besides clean bathrooms that is.
Yup I went there, totally bitchy of me, and I sorta apologize, but if he's gonna be mean to me and belittle my efforts, then right back at ya. I'm sick of it being ok for him to be mean, but when I give him a taste of his own medicine then I'm a bitch and it's different because I'm intentionally mean...WHATEVER...I'm sick of it. *sighs* Ok I'm done ranting...
Sunday, November 16, 2008
NaNo weekend...TRL
This weekend was hella wordy! I spent the weekend writing and participating in word wars, I'm super tired, super drained. Friday night I had around 13,000 words, tonight I'm almost to 18,000 words. I'm exhausted, but I'm glad I wrote my lil brain off. I wrote a lot of good lines today, it was hard to submit my best line over at Rain's site...so I submitted a paragraph even though she said not to...oops sowwy
Tonight was the finale of TRL (Total Request Live) I haven't seen the show in a few years because it wasn't the same, it was kinda suckish. But I decided to watch it tonight because it was the finale and they were going to reminisce on all the stuff that happened on the show these past 10 years. Lemme tell you, I was watching The Backstreet Boys sing "I Want It That Way" and I got a little teary eyed. It wasn't because it was The Backstreet Boys, I've never really been a "fan" I was an *NSYNC girl all the way. But I remembered when TRL first came one, before it was abbreviated. I remember when Britney first came on and when Christina first came on. I remember the countless NSYNC/Backstreet Boys battles and how they always had the first two spots and one day NSYNC would be number 1 and then Backstreet Boys would take it. I remember calling and voting, I remember when they premiered "Sonny Came Home", when Justin performed as a solo artist...so many things, so many videos. I REMEMBER WHEN THEY ACTUALLY PLAYED THE VIDEOS.
It made me feel old, 10 years had passed, and it made me feel like I was one step closer to adulthood, like one of the last part of my youth just ended. I will never get it back, that's why I got teary eyed. It was a little sad, but I'm glad I watched it, a lot of fond memories were attached to that show.
Tonight was the finale of TRL (Total Request Live) I haven't seen the show in a few years because it wasn't the same, it was kinda suckish. But I decided to watch it tonight because it was the finale and they were going to reminisce on all the stuff that happened on the show these past 10 years. Lemme tell you, I was watching The Backstreet Boys sing "I Want It That Way" and I got a little teary eyed. It wasn't because it was The Backstreet Boys, I've never really been a "fan" I was an *NSYNC girl all the way. But I remembered when TRL first came one, before it was abbreviated. I remember when Britney first came on and when Christina first came on. I remember the countless NSYNC/Backstreet Boys battles and how they always had the first two spots and one day NSYNC would be number 1 and then Backstreet Boys would take it. I remember calling and voting, I remember when they premiered "Sonny Came Home", when Justin performed as a solo artist...so many things, so many videos. I REMEMBER WHEN THEY ACTUALLY PLAYED THE VIDEOS.
It made me feel old, 10 years had passed, and it made me feel like I was one step closer to adulthood, like one of the last part of my youth just ended. I will never get it back, that's why I got teary eyed. It was a little sad, but I'm glad I watched it, a lot of fond memories were attached to that show.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Day 12 of NaNo...
I'm feeling it today, first day of feeling like quitting. I just haven't felt like writing, and I think I've written 100 words today. I'm getting discouraged, I don't even know where I'm going with the novel anymore *sighs* it's probably because I got my period and my tummy is killing me. I didn't even go to work today because my cramps were so painful this morning.
Maybe things will be better tomorrow...
Maybe things will be better tomorrow...
Friday, November 07, 2008
Romance novels...what they REALLY are
So I was over at Carla Swafford's blog and she posted a very good blog today. It's about romance novels and what they really are. I know a lot of people see them as sex books, or porn for women as a certain friend of mine likes to say, but they're not, and I've been trying to explain it, but couldn't find the right words...well Carla did! Here's the best part...
" Romance is the best part of the books I love to read. The emotions, the way the man and woman become attached to each other. The need to be closer, to connect, even if it is only to hold hands. Or maybe they can't touch, can't be together. The hunger in their eyes, the wary glance, the need to hear a voice or brush shoulders. The gentleness in their tone when they say that special someone's name. The tremor in their fingers when they finally touch for the first time. The way they sacrifice a part of themselves to be together."
" Romance is the best part of the books I love to read. The emotions, the way the man and woman become attached to each other. The need to be closer, to connect, even if it is only to hold hands. Or maybe they can't touch, can't be together. The hunger in their eyes, the wary glance, the need to hear a voice or brush shoulders. The gentleness in their tone when they say that special someone's name. The tremor in their fingers when they finally touch for the first time. The way they sacrifice a part of themselves to be together."
Thursday, November 06, 2008
...What? ANOTHER one!?
Well I guess I'm on a roll, I won another contest people!
Cept this one, I didn't mean to enter...I mean I DID enter it, but not to ENTER it....hmm...lemme explain that better...
Over at the Coffee forum they were having this event with Red Rose Publishing and one of the authors had a contest, and you had to basically leave a comment on the thread and she would choose one commenter as the winner.
So I left her a comment, but not because I wanted to win, I just really liked the excerpt to her story and I wanted to tell her, and make a joke. Well my innocent post won! How coocky is that???
Cept this one, I didn't mean to enter...I mean I DID enter it, but not to ENTER it....hmm...lemme explain that better...
Over at the Coffee forum they were having this event with Red Rose Publishing and one of the authors had a contest, and you had to basically leave a comment on the thread and she would choose one commenter as the winner.
So I left her a comment, but not because I wanted to win, I just really liked the excerpt to her story and I wanted to tell her, and make a joke. Well my innocent post won! How coocky is that???
Monday, November 03, 2008
Fan Fiction Contest
I entered Linda Wisdom's Fan Fiction contest a few weeks ago, and she just announced the winner...AND IT'S ME!
OMG I can't believe it, I'm so stocked, it's just the confidence boost I need to continue with my novel for NaNoWriMo.
I'm just so giddy and I wanted to share my news with people, now I'm going back to writing.
If you want to read it, click here
OMG I can't believe it, I'm so stocked, it's just the confidence boost I need to continue with my novel for NaNoWriMo.
I'm just so giddy and I wanted to share my news with people, now I'm going back to writing.
If you want to read it, click here
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Sin A Little...And Win!
This is a contest being held by Cynthia Eden, author of the upcoming book, Midnight Sins wich comes out Nov. 25th. I really like her stuff, and I can't wait for this to come out, so I entered her contest, hehe. I had to post that on a blog, so TADA. :)
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Getting ready...
For a few things...lets see...
Halloween is tomorrow and I still haven't gotten my fangs or fake blood, or the black face crayon so I can draw my whiskers for my day costume. I have about an hour and forty-five minutes worth of music on my NaNo playlist, but I'm thinking I may need to add more songs...I don't know, it's a whole month of listening to the same songs, I may get tired of them, and they may get desensitized. We'll see...I finished a book last night (Death Perception by Victoria Laurie) you can read my review here if you like.
I think that's about it, I also want to make a quick comment about my glasses. I've had them for about 3 years now and I've worn them hundreds of times. But for some reason everyone has decided to compliment me on them these last couple of weeks. What's up with that? Did you just notice them, because that's just crazy, what were you looking at when you people talked to me?
Halloween is tomorrow and I still haven't gotten my fangs or fake blood, or the black face crayon so I can draw my whiskers for my day costume. I have about an hour and forty-five minutes worth of music on my NaNo playlist, but I'm thinking I may need to add more songs...I don't know, it's a whole month of listening to the same songs, I may get tired of them, and they may get desensitized. We'll see...I finished a book last night (Death Perception by Victoria Laurie) you can read my review here if you like.
I think that's about it, I also want to make a quick comment about my glasses. I've had them for about 3 years now and I've worn them hundreds of times. But for some reason everyone has decided to compliment me on them these last couple of weeks. What's up with that? Did you just notice them, because that's just crazy, what were you looking at when you people talked to me?
Monday, October 27, 2008
NaNoWriMo
So it's that time of the year again (no not Halloween) NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). Now I know what some of you are thinking, "She's never mentioned NaNo before." Well that's because I've never done it before (I'm a NaNo Virgin). I vaguely knew about it the last two years, but I was in Chachi-Land doing who knows what with my time. But this year I decided to do it, because I figured, if I can't write a 50,000 word novel (rough draft) during this month, with the time constraint, then I can't do it any other time. And this is something I need to know, because I want to be a published writer, and if I can't write a novel, then I'm just wasting my time, and my dream is only that...a dream.
I'm nervous as heck, but I know a few people that are doing it as well, and we will cheer eachother on. Hopefully I can make it, and I'm not as nervous as I was before, because I finally thought of what I could write about. Trust me I was mentally pacing back and forth trying to come up w/ a story idea. Here it is, my rather small synopsis for NaNoWriMo:
Jenny, recruited at the age of 8 by evil forces to become their queen, lost to them, has now been found after 10 years. Will Jenny succumb to the fate that was laid upon her so many years ago, or will the man that has recently become part of her life save her from the temptation she now faces?
I'm nervous as heck, but I know a few people that are doing it as well, and we will cheer eachother on. Hopefully I can make it, and I'm not as nervous as I was before, because I finally thought of what I could write about. Trust me I was mentally pacing back and forth trying to come up w/ a story idea. Here it is, my rather small synopsis for NaNoWriMo:
Jenny, recruited at the age of 8 by evil forces to become their queen, lost to them, has now been found after 10 years. Will Jenny succumb to the fate that was laid upon her so many years ago, or will the man that has recently become part of her life save her from the temptation she now faces?
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Saw V
So I went to the movies last night to see Saw V, and it was good, really gory, yum, haha. But even though the movie was good, and I should be talking about it, I can't, because I need to talk about what happened BEFORE I saw the movie.
It was the weirdest, most absurd thing ever: We got IDed before we bought the tickets. OK that's the firs weird thing, then we got IDed by the girl taking the tickets (we already bought them, so obviously we're of age) then the teather was CROWDED. I swear I felt like I was at a Red Carpet event. Then to go INTO the specific theater where the movie was playing, we got IDed AGAIN. Are you serious??? You see we have the ticket, which means we got passed the ticket window (where we got IDed) and passed the ticket taker (where we got IDed AGAIN), how many times do you need to see the darn thing?
Lemme tell you, I've never been carded this many times in my life. I don't even get carded when I go to the liqour store...oh but to go see Saw, that's waaaaay more important. We MUST card for Saw, forget about cigs and beer, that's not important, we will never ask for ID there (which they never have for me) but for SAW ooooh, now THAT'S imperative. *eye roll* Whatever...
I just can't help but wonder...if I was a gray-haired old woman w/ a cane...would they stll need to see some ID???
It was the weirdest, most absurd thing ever: We got IDed before we bought the tickets. OK that's the firs weird thing, then we got IDed by the girl taking the tickets (we already bought them, so obviously we're of age) then the teather was CROWDED. I swear I felt like I was at a Red Carpet event. Then to go INTO the specific theater where the movie was playing, we got IDed AGAIN. Are you serious??? You see we have the ticket, which means we got passed the ticket window (where we got IDed) and passed the ticket taker (where we got IDed AGAIN), how many times do you need to see the darn thing?
Lemme tell you, I've never been carded this many times in my life. I don't even get carded when I go to the liqour store...oh but to go see Saw, that's waaaaay more important. We MUST card for Saw, forget about cigs and beer, that's not important, we will never ask for ID there (which they never have for me) but for SAW ooooh, now THAT'S imperative. *eye roll* Whatever...
I just can't help but wonder...if I was a gray-haired old woman w/ a cane...would they stll need to see some ID???
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Quick Update
Hello all, just wanted to stop by and tell you guys what's been going on...
Well my friend Ashley moves in with me today, she should actually be all set up by the time I get home from work. I'm kind of excited, though I love the solitude of living by myself, and though I was planning on turning that spare bedroom into a writing space, I'm glad she's moving in. The apartment is so big for just me, and I feel lonely and bored most days, and now I wont be! I'll have someone to talk to, and that's good good.
I've spent a good part of this week over at http://coffeetimeromance.com/board I joined last month, and I'd go really quick everyday to see what's going on, but these last couple of days I've practically moved in to the forums. It's so much fun, I'm meeting a lot of great people, and we all come together because we love books and love to read. It's a blast, and I'm really glad that CoffeeTime found me on myspace and sent me a friend request.
I haven't been working on my novel (eek) I'm afraid I'm going to do it again, I'm going to delete it. Aly hates when I do that (I do it a lot), and I kind of do too. I spent so much time working on it, I've written a couple of thousand words and it's going to suck to have to start over, but I just don't believe in the story, I don't believe in the characters, they don't call to me I don't know what to do honestly. I've had a whole bunch of ideas these last couple of nights just swimming in my head. And there's one in particular that I keep going back to...I don't know...maybe I should go with that, see where it takes me...
UPDATE: As I was writing this blog, I got a phone call from my best friend Virginia, who's down in Denver for AmeriCorps, and she's devistated! Apparently a guy kissed her, and she didn't stop it, and now she feels super horrible about it, because she has a boyfriend. She told him about it, I don't know what's going to happen but she's so scared. She's afraid she ruined her whole life, that her relationship is going to end, she feels like she's not worth anything, and it saddens me to hear that. I told her so too, I told her that people make mistakes, that we can only learn and grow from them. I told her not to make any rash decisions now, to take it one step at a time (because she wants to leave AmeriCorps and come back up here to deal with this). I hope things get straighten out, I love that girl so much, and a small part of me feels like interfering in on this and talking to her boyfriend, try to fix this for her. I'm usually not that type of person, I usually offer advice and a shoulder because who am I to tell her what to do? But I don't want her to leave AmeriCorps (when she's only been there about 2-3 weeks) and have her come back and then have her regret leaving in the first place. So I'm really tempted to try to sort this out for her, I just want her to be happy. But will I be able to jump right in the middle of something that is really none of my business? Seems a bit rude, and something I've never done before...
Well my friend Ashley moves in with me today, she should actually be all set up by the time I get home from work. I'm kind of excited, though I love the solitude of living by myself, and though I was planning on turning that spare bedroom into a writing space, I'm glad she's moving in. The apartment is so big for just me, and I feel lonely and bored most days, and now I wont be! I'll have someone to talk to, and that's good good.
I've spent a good part of this week over at http://coffeetimeromance.com/board I joined last month, and I'd go really quick everyday to see what's going on, but these last couple of days I've practically moved in to the forums. It's so much fun, I'm meeting a lot of great people, and we all come together because we love books and love to read. It's a blast, and I'm really glad that CoffeeTime found me on myspace and sent me a friend request.
I haven't been working on my novel (eek) I'm afraid I'm going to do it again, I'm going to delete it. Aly hates when I do that (I do it a lot), and I kind of do too. I spent so much time working on it, I've written a couple of thousand words and it's going to suck to have to start over, but I just don't believe in the story, I don't believe in the characters, they don't call to me I don't know what to do honestly. I've had a whole bunch of ideas these last couple of nights just swimming in my head. And there's one in particular that I keep going back to...I don't know...maybe I should go with that, see where it takes me...
UPDATE: As I was writing this blog, I got a phone call from my best friend Virginia, who's down in Denver for AmeriCorps, and she's devistated! Apparently a guy kissed her, and she didn't stop it, and now she feels super horrible about it, because she has a boyfriend. She told him about it, I don't know what's going to happen but she's so scared. She's afraid she ruined her whole life, that her relationship is going to end, she feels like she's not worth anything, and it saddens me to hear that. I told her so too, I told her that people make mistakes, that we can only learn and grow from them. I told her not to make any rash decisions now, to take it one step at a time (because she wants to leave AmeriCorps and come back up here to deal with this). I hope things get straighten out, I love that girl so much, and a small part of me feels like interfering in on this and talking to her boyfriend, try to fix this for her. I'm usually not that type of person, I usually offer advice and a shoulder because who am I to tell her what to do? But I don't want her to leave AmeriCorps (when she's only been there about 2-3 weeks) and have her come back and then have her regret leaving in the first place. So I'm really tempted to try to sort this out for her, I just want her to be happy. But will I be able to jump right in the middle of something that is really none of my business? Seems a bit rude, and something I've never done before...
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Up in Smoke by Katie MacAlister
I just wanted to take a few minutes of my time and write about Up in Smoke by Katie MacAlister. It's the second book in her Silver Dragon series (which is I guess stems from the Aisling Grey/Green Dragon series). It came out about 2 weeks ago, and I finished reading it a few days ago, and I want to burst! It left me in suspense, and I don't know how long till the next part comes out.
Anyway, if you haven't read this series (or the Aisling Grey) you really should. It's got your paranormals (Dragons, Guardians, Demons, Imps, Doppelgangers, etc.), it's got romance (really yummy sex scenes too, hehe). The books are just great, I also like the way she communicates with the readers. She writes in first person, and talks to us, not as if she were telling a story that already happened, but more as if we were there, and she's just making comments about what's going on, and what she's thinking.
Here's a little bit about Up in Smoke (I wont spoil anything I promise)
It continues about 6 months after May (a doppelganger and a wyvern's mate to Gabriel, wyvern of the silver dragons) sacrifices herself for Gabriel and the sept, and ends up stuck in Abaddon becoming a consort to the demon she was bound to when she was first created. So May and Gabriel have to figure out how to get her out of Abaddon without releasing the demon to the mortal world. Of course in between all of this there's a whole bunch of drama involving dragon politics. With the Black dragon trying to make their sept official again, and fighting with the Silver dragons (because there's some history between both septs, which I wont talk about), the Blue dragons are in the middle of a civil war with eachother, the leader of the Red dragons is stuck somewhere in Abaddon (I won't say how she got there, but I will say it happened in the Aisling Grey series), and so on and so forth. It sounds a bit overwhelming, but trust me, it's all laid out neatly.
So come on folks, hop to it, buy the book, read it. Support this great author, who wants to her book to do well.
Anyway, if you haven't read this series (or the Aisling Grey) you really should. It's got your paranormals (Dragons, Guardians, Demons, Imps, Doppelgangers, etc.), it's got romance (really yummy sex scenes too, hehe). The books are just great, I also like the way she communicates with the readers. She writes in first person, and talks to us, not as if she were telling a story that already happened, but more as if we were there, and she's just making comments about what's going on, and what she's thinking.
Here's a little bit about Up in Smoke (I wont spoil anything I promise)
It continues about 6 months after May (a doppelganger and a wyvern's mate to Gabriel, wyvern of the silver dragons) sacrifices herself for Gabriel and the sept, and ends up stuck in Abaddon becoming a consort to the demon she was bound to when she was first created. So May and Gabriel have to figure out how to get her out of Abaddon without releasing the demon to the mortal world. Of course in between all of this there's a whole bunch of drama involving dragon politics. With the Black dragon trying to make their sept official again, and fighting with the Silver dragons (because there's some history between both septs, which I wont talk about), the Blue dragons are in the middle of a civil war with eachother, the leader of the Red dragons is stuck somewhere in Abaddon (I won't say how she got there, but I will say it happened in the Aisling Grey series), and so on and so forth. It sounds a bit overwhelming, but trust me, it's all laid out neatly.
So come on folks, hop to it, buy the book, read it. Support this great author, who wants to her book to do well.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Blast from the past
So there I was, just minding my own business, bored, surfing through myspace, when I encountered a picture of a girl. Now to anybody else, this was just another girl, she looked normal, nothing special about her...but to me, she was special. I had one of those Phoebe (from Charmed) moments; I gasped and my vision was instantly transported 14 years in the past. Images rapidly filled my vision, starting from when I was 8, all the way till I was 14 years old. This girl that I stumbled across on myspace, was my childhood best friend, Stephanie.
I couldn't believe it! Imagine my surprise, I haven't seen her in 8 years and there she was. Well I instantly clicked her picture, but of course, her profile was private. Oh well, that's not gonna stop me, tentatively I clicked on the send message button and I wrote her a message. Truth be told, I wasn't sure she was going to recognize me or remember me, but boy was I wrong. She seemed as excited to see me (virtually) as I was to see her. She wanted to know all about what I was up to, even asked how my mom was.
It feels good to talk to her again, she was such a big part of my life, and truth be told, still is. I am the person I am today partly because of her. She's three years older than I am and I looked up to her so much growing up, I wanted to be just like her. And I grew up to be a little bit like her :)
Wow...Stephanie...I learned English because of her, hehe. I moved to CT from Puerto Rico when I was 6 years-old, but I lived in a hispanic community and went to a hispanic school, so I hadn't realized that I wasn't in a Spanish-speaking country. Until I was 8, when I used to sit on my front steps and watch the girl that lived across the street play. I wanted to be her friend so bad for some strange reason, but I was shy. I told my mom and she told me to just go over and say hi, but I was too shy for that, so my mom grabbed me by the hand and took me across the street where Stephanie was playing with her upstairs neighbor Carlitos. My mom didn't speak any English either, but thankfully Carlitos was hispanic and translated for her. Well Stephanie said I could play with them, but I realized then that she didn't speak Spanish. So everyday we would play together, but Carlitos was always with us, translating back and forth for us. I wanted to know what she was saying so bad, I wanted to be able to communicate with her on my own, and tell her things that were private to girls, because even though we didn't understand eachother, we grew really fond of eachother. So with my mind made me up, I went to my grandma (who was half German half Italian) to teach me to speak English. Determined, and with a set goal-to be able to speak to Stephanie without Carlito's help-I was able to learn enough English to have a conversation with her alone in about 2 months. And from then on we were inseparable. She helped me improve my English everyday, and so did her mom and grandfather. I spent all my time with her; after school (after I did my homework of course) I was with her. On the weekends, I spent the nights at her house.
She exposed me to a new world. New clothing styles, new t.v. shows, new music, etc. A lot of things I like today (like I said before) have been her influence
1. No Doubt, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Tori Amos, Metallica, Pearl Jam, and other music artists.
2. Beavis and Butt-Head, Daria, South Park, My So Called Life, Aeon Flux, and many other shows
3. Drop Dead Fred, Interview with the Vampire, Romeo & Juliet, The Frighteners, many other movies
Well you guys get where I'm going here, haha. The girl influenced me tremendously. I'm really glad I found her, and I'm glad that she's doing good.
I couldn't believe it! Imagine my surprise, I haven't seen her in 8 years and there she was. Well I instantly clicked her picture, but of course, her profile was private. Oh well, that's not gonna stop me, tentatively I clicked on the send message button and I wrote her a message. Truth be told, I wasn't sure she was going to recognize me or remember me, but boy was I wrong. She seemed as excited to see me (virtually) as I was to see her. She wanted to know all about what I was up to, even asked how my mom was.
It feels good to talk to her again, she was such a big part of my life, and truth be told, still is. I am the person I am today partly because of her. She's three years older than I am and I looked up to her so much growing up, I wanted to be just like her. And I grew up to be a little bit like her :)
Wow...Stephanie...I learned English because of her, hehe. I moved to CT from Puerto Rico when I was 6 years-old, but I lived in a hispanic community and went to a hispanic school, so I hadn't realized that I wasn't in a Spanish-speaking country. Until I was 8, when I used to sit on my front steps and watch the girl that lived across the street play. I wanted to be her friend so bad for some strange reason, but I was shy. I told my mom and she told me to just go over and say hi, but I was too shy for that, so my mom grabbed me by the hand and took me across the street where Stephanie was playing with her upstairs neighbor Carlitos. My mom didn't speak any English either, but thankfully Carlitos was hispanic and translated for her. Well Stephanie said I could play with them, but I realized then that she didn't speak Spanish. So everyday we would play together, but Carlitos was always with us, translating back and forth for us. I wanted to know what she was saying so bad, I wanted to be able to communicate with her on my own, and tell her things that were private to girls, because even though we didn't understand eachother, we grew really fond of eachother. So with my mind made me up, I went to my grandma (who was half German half Italian) to teach me to speak English. Determined, and with a set goal-to be able to speak to Stephanie without Carlito's help-I was able to learn enough English to have a conversation with her alone in about 2 months. And from then on we were inseparable. She helped me improve my English everyday, and so did her mom and grandfather. I spent all my time with her; after school (after I did my homework of course) I was with her. On the weekends, I spent the nights at her house.
She exposed me to a new world. New clothing styles, new t.v. shows, new music, etc. A lot of things I like today (like I said before) have been her influence
1. No Doubt, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Tori Amos, Metallica, Pearl Jam, and other music artists.
2. Beavis and Butt-Head, Daria, South Park, My So Called Life, Aeon Flux, and many other shows
3. Drop Dead Fred, Interview with the Vampire, Romeo & Juliet, The Frighteners, many other movies
Well you guys get where I'm going here, haha. The girl influenced me tremendously. I'm really glad I found her, and I'm glad that she's doing good.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Siiiick
This last week has been yucky! I've been bedridden with strep throat, and it sucks balls man. First my throat felt like I had swallowed a whole bunch of needles, I couldn't swallow (not even my own saliva), then I got a cough, runny and stuffed up nose, then Thursday night I got a horrible fever. Agh, but I think that fever was just like a goodbye thing (I hope) because yesterday I woke up w/ no fever, my throat doesn't hurt that much, and I felt slightly better. Now I'm all flemy (yuuuuck) but that's good because it means I can just spit my sickness out, hehe.
Anyway, I just thought I'd catch everyone up on what I've been up to. I've been too sick to write anything, although I've been lurking around. :)
Anyway, I just thought I'd catch everyone up on what I've been up to. I've been too sick to write anything, although I've been lurking around. :)
Monday, September 29, 2008
Emotional Rollercoaster
So besides all the crap that's been happening these last couple of days...I have more things going on today to make my head spin. One minute I'm super sad, the next I'm ok, not happy, but laughing and whatnot. Why? Well I wont get into the stuff from these last couple of days, I'll just stick with today.
1. Today is my nephew's first birthday. YAY! He's so cute, I can't believe he's already one. My brother made him a cake, and OMG it was freaking YUMMY.
2. It's Jeff's birthday as well. 22, you go Jeffers. He came over last night and we were watching some anime, and then me, him and Virginia started watching porn. It was fun. I should call him though, since he has no plans...I kinda wanna see more of that anime :P
3. Virginia left this morning (back to New Jersey). *Sighs* I'm not going to see her again for a while. She's moving to Colorado in October and wont be back for 10 months. That hurts my heart, she's my best friend, my sister. What am I going to do without her? This is going to be so hard not having her around.
4. Last, but not least, today is the anniversary of my grandma's death. I can't believe it's been 4 years since Tata died. I remember when I found out: I was away at school, and it was Wednesday night. I was over at Cram & Jam doing a little homework and enjoying the live performance of Eric Himan, when my roomie (Jen) tells me I missed a call from my mom. So I borrow her cell and I call her back. I didn't believe her at first, how could I? This was Tata, I spoke to her a few weeks before and she was fine. I went back inside in a trance, and Eric Himan started to sing The Outskirts of You, and I broke. I broke so hard. I started to cry, and I couldn't stop. This was Tata, my Tata, the person who I loved the most in this world. She was such a huge influence in my life, I'm the person I am today, partly because of her. My love of old t.v. shows, my love for board games, and card games (she taught me to play Uno, Old Maid, Parcheesi), she taught me how to speak english. She was my roomate for a long time growing up. I never saw her being gone, I thought she'd be around for ever. (That sounds dumb, but it's true) It was a hard night for me, but everyone was really nice and supporting. Eric Himan came up to me after his set and asked if I was ok (he saw me crying earlier), he was really nice, he autographed a cd for me. Everytime I hear The Outskirts of You (which is a beautiful song) I think of Tata. At first I couldn't listen to it without crying, buy now I can, it makes me miss her so much, but it also helps me remember all the good memories. Which is why I'm listening to it now
Ok, enough of that, now we all know why I'm on this rollercoaster of emotional baggage.
1. Today is my nephew's first birthday. YAY! He's so cute, I can't believe he's already one. My brother made him a cake, and OMG it was freaking YUMMY.
2. It's Jeff's birthday as well. 22, you go Jeffers. He came over last night and we were watching some anime, and then me, him and Virginia started watching porn. It was fun. I should call him though, since he has no plans...I kinda wanna see more of that anime :P
3. Virginia left this morning (back to New Jersey). *Sighs* I'm not going to see her again for a while. She's moving to Colorado in October and wont be back for 10 months. That hurts my heart, she's my best friend, my sister. What am I going to do without her? This is going to be so hard not having her around.
4. Last, but not least, today is the anniversary of my grandma's death. I can't believe it's been 4 years since Tata died. I remember when I found out: I was away at school, and it was Wednesday night. I was over at Cram & Jam doing a little homework and enjoying the live performance of Eric Himan, when my roomie (Jen) tells me I missed a call from my mom. So I borrow her cell and I call her back. I didn't believe her at first, how could I? This was Tata, I spoke to her a few weeks before and she was fine. I went back inside in a trance, and Eric Himan started to sing The Outskirts of You, and I broke. I broke so hard. I started to cry, and I couldn't stop. This was Tata, my Tata, the person who I loved the most in this world. She was such a huge influence in my life, I'm the person I am today, partly because of her. My love of old t.v. shows, my love for board games, and card games (she taught me to play Uno, Old Maid, Parcheesi), she taught me how to speak english. She was my roomate for a long time growing up. I never saw her being gone, I thought she'd be around for ever. (That sounds dumb, but it's true) It was a hard night for me, but everyone was really nice and supporting. Eric Himan came up to me after his set and asked if I was ok (he saw me crying earlier), he was really nice, he autographed a cd for me. Everytime I hear The Outskirts of You (which is a beautiful song) I think of Tata. At first I couldn't listen to it without crying, buy now I can, it makes me miss her so much, but it also helps me remember all the good memories. Which is why I'm listening to it now
Ok, enough of that, now we all know why I'm on this rollercoaster of emotional baggage.
Friday, September 26, 2008
"Bite Me" LOL
Hmm...
Dark.
Scrumptious.
Sinful.
Immortal.
I bathe in your shadow,
under the moon's soft glow.
Waiting for a glimpse of your eternal soul
A soul so black
I cower in fear...
And delight
At all the possibilites you arise within me.
I wait with bated breath
Neck exposed
For the feel,
The thrill
Of your cold merciless fangs
As they rip through my flesh,
And take hold of my essence.
And all I do
Is whimper in anticipation
As I see the blood of the innocent
Drip heedlessly onto the ground
As I become one with the night.
Dark.
Scrumptious.
Sinful.
Immortal.
I bathe in your shadow,
under the moon's soft glow.
Waiting for a glimpse of your eternal soul
A soul so black
I cower in fear...
And delight
At all the possibilites you arise within me.
I wait with bated breath
Neck exposed
For the feel,
The thrill
Of your cold merciless fangs
As they rip through my flesh,
And take hold of my essence.
And all I do
Is whimper in anticipation
As I see the blood of the innocent
Drip heedlessly onto the ground
As I become one with the night.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Coming out of hiding
I decided to blog tonight, not because I had anything to say, but because I've been kind of hiding. I've been on blogger reading other people's blog, leaving comments, but I haven't taken the time to catch you guys up on what's going on with me.
My weekend in Penn. was ok, I guess. Not as horrible as I expected, my aunt was on her best behavior, haha. She even found me on myspace and sent me a friend request :s. My mom and I got into at least 3 arguments, mind you we must have spent an accumulative 3-4 hours together that weekend. That just proves we are not meant to live in the same state. Needless to say, I was glad to be back in CT at the end of the weekend. Too much family, too much of my mother, too many huge bugs.
I'm having problems with Darnell, as always. Though I don't know what his problem is exactly, I think it may have something to do with the fact that I kicked him out of my bedroom last night when Bones was about to start. Well excuse me if I want to watch my favorite show in peace, with no interruptions, no stupid comments about how it's a dumb show, or how I'm obsessed with David Boreanaz, no snickering. If he would have just said he was going to be on his best behavior, I wouldn't have kicked him out, but he couldn't even do that, he just started laughing. So he grabbed his keys and headed back to work, now he refuses to answer my phone calls. Whatever, I'm so sick of this. Makes me realize that there are a lot of problems between us, that are not new, that were in fact, there 3 years ago when we dated.
And that makes me lonely, not because he's being a big baby (even though according to him I'M the big baby), but because I feel like I'm never going to find that guy. I'm 22 years-old and I've only had 2 official boyfriends my entire life, and both those relationships last 3 months. What is so wrong with me that I can't attract a nice guy. I'm not saying Darnell isn't a good person, he is, he helps people out when they need him, no questions asked, no matter how big a favor is, if he can do it he will. But he can be really mean sometimes, and it hurts my feelings, and then I get accused of being over emotional, and I'm told I'm overreacting. I just wish he wasn't so damn bipolar with me, I wish he wouldn't push me away, I wish we could go 1 week without getting into a fight, I wish he didn't make me cry so much-like I'm crying now. Because he can be so sweet sometimes, but he has this thing where he wants everything done his way. Like we only have sex when HE wants, or he'll only let me kiss him if HE feels like it. It's ok for him to not want to talk to me because he wants to sleep instead, or for him to call me as many times as he wants. But when I call him twice a day, I'm called clingy. I can't say I miss him, or that I want to see him. But he called me this past weekend to tell me to spend the weekend at his house because he wanted to cuddle.
So it's ok when HE says it's ok, but I can't say anything. I'm sorry but I don't operate that way. I'm not saying I don't get clingy, because I do sometimes but I don't have split personalities where one minute I'm all over him and then the next I'm annoyed because he's there all the time and blah blah blah. Forget it, I'm ranting, and I'm confused, and I don't know what to do with myself.
And for the record, I'm NOT sorry I kicked him out of my room for Bones because it was an AWESOME EPISODE!
My weekend in Penn. was ok, I guess. Not as horrible as I expected, my aunt was on her best behavior, haha. She even found me on myspace and sent me a friend request :s. My mom and I got into at least 3 arguments, mind you we must have spent an accumulative 3-4 hours together that weekend. That just proves we are not meant to live in the same state. Needless to say, I was glad to be back in CT at the end of the weekend. Too much family, too much of my mother, too many huge bugs.
I'm having problems with Darnell, as always. Though I don't know what his problem is exactly, I think it may have something to do with the fact that I kicked him out of my bedroom last night when Bones was about to start. Well excuse me if I want to watch my favorite show in peace, with no interruptions, no stupid comments about how it's a dumb show, or how I'm obsessed with David Boreanaz, no snickering. If he would have just said he was going to be on his best behavior, I wouldn't have kicked him out, but he couldn't even do that, he just started laughing. So he grabbed his keys and headed back to work, now he refuses to answer my phone calls. Whatever, I'm so sick of this. Makes me realize that there are a lot of problems between us, that are not new, that were in fact, there 3 years ago when we dated.
And that makes me lonely, not because he's being a big baby (even though according to him I'M the big baby), but because I feel like I'm never going to find that guy. I'm 22 years-old and I've only had 2 official boyfriends my entire life, and both those relationships last 3 months. What is so wrong with me that I can't attract a nice guy. I'm not saying Darnell isn't a good person, he is, he helps people out when they need him, no questions asked, no matter how big a favor is, if he can do it he will. But he can be really mean sometimes, and it hurts my feelings, and then I get accused of being over emotional, and I'm told I'm overreacting. I just wish he wasn't so damn bipolar with me, I wish he wouldn't push me away, I wish we could go 1 week without getting into a fight, I wish he didn't make me cry so much-like I'm crying now. Because he can be so sweet sometimes, but he has this thing where he wants everything done his way. Like we only have sex when HE wants, or he'll only let me kiss him if HE feels like it. It's ok for him to not want to talk to me because he wants to sleep instead, or for him to call me as many times as he wants. But when I call him twice a day, I'm called clingy. I can't say I miss him, or that I want to see him. But he called me this past weekend to tell me to spend the weekend at his house because he wanted to cuddle.
So it's ok when HE says it's ok, but I can't say anything. I'm sorry but I don't operate that way. I'm not saying I don't get clingy, because I do sometimes but I don't have split personalities where one minute I'm all over him and then the next I'm annoyed because he's there all the time and blah blah blah. Forget it, I'm ranting, and I'm confused, and I don't know what to do with myself.
And for the record, I'm NOT sorry I kicked him out of my room for Bones because it was an AWESOME EPISODE!
Friday, September 12, 2008
After 4 years, back to Penn
Friday, eek! Usually I'm happy when Friday arrives, it means the weekend, no waking up early to go to work. But this Friday-although I still don't work-is not a happy day. Let me explain...
My step-dad and I are driving to Pennsylvania tonight. My cousin's quinceanero (sweet 15) is Saturday afternoon and I promised her months ago that I would attend. A promise is a promise, right? Can't get out of it now, although I really want to. Why? Well, I love my cousin Christina very much, I'm just not too fond of the rest of my family. I know that sounds horrible, but what can I say? I have to lie and pretend that I'm close to them, but I will not do so on my own blog!
Can you imagine that I'm the black sheep of the family? I am...or maybe I should say I'm the white sheep? :D Either way, we're complete opposites (that includes my mom and brother as well). I love to read, they don't. I like astronomy, they think I'm stupid and crazy for staring up into the sky at night. I graduated from high school, none of them did. I don't smoke-anything-or do drugs, they all do. I've never been arrested or gone to jail, they all have. I've never been in a gang, they all have ('cept for my mom, I think). So as you can see, my family is made up of black sheep, and I'm the only white one in the bunch (well, me and Christina...thankfully).
I don't want anyone to think I'm being judgemental even though I'm coming across that way-because I'm really not. If that's the way they want to live their lives, they can, as long as they're happy, who am I to say otherwise, right? The problem is they judge me. They're constantly criticizing my lifestyle, or how I dress, or how I speak, or the fact that I'm 22 and haven't been "knocked up" yet when both my mom and aunt were pregnant with their firstborn at the age of 13.
Now, I'm a strong individual, I stand my ground, and I usually don't let petty things like that bother me. But this is my family, I grew up with them. There was a time when we all lived in the same house back in Puerto Rico. And I know family members tend to criticize-it's not that out of the ordinary-but it's the way that they do it. They are vicious, they insult me to my face, and laugh about it. Then when I retreat to a quiet room by myself with a book to read, my aunt starts going around saying that I think I'm better than the rest of them, that I look down on them, and don't want to associate myself with them. Which of course is not true. I just wish they would leave me alone to live my life as I please, make my own mistakes. Just because we choose different lifestyles doesn't mean we can't find a common ground and get along. But when I try to say this they dismiss me, say I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, that I know nothing, and that's it.
So now do you see why I'm not T.G.I.F-ing? And why I'm dreading this trip?
Well that's all I've got to report on this end, I will be taking my laptop with me, just in case a fight ensues and I head for my motel room. Will they have internet? I don't know, but if they do, and I get a chance to come online, I'll report on the current progress of the-as I like to call-hellkend (hell weekend...get it?) :P
My step-dad and I are driving to Pennsylvania tonight. My cousin's quinceanero (sweet 15) is Saturday afternoon and I promised her months ago that I would attend. A promise is a promise, right? Can't get out of it now, although I really want to. Why? Well, I love my cousin Christina very much, I'm just not too fond of the rest of my family. I know that sounds horrible, but what can I say? I have to lie and pretend that I'm close to them, but I will not do so on my own blog!
Can you imagine that I'm the black sheep of the family? I am...or maybe I should say I'm the white sheep? :D Either way, we're complete opposites (that includes my mom and brother as well). I love to read, they don't. I like astronomy, they think I'm stupid and crazy for staring up into the sky at night. I graduated from high school, none of them did. I don't smoke-anything-or do drugs, they all do. I've never been arrested or gone to jail, they all have. I've never been in a gang, they all have ('cept for my mom, I think). So as you can see, my family is made up of black sheep, and I'm the only white one in the bunch (well, me and Christina...thankfully).
I don't want anyone to think I'm being judgemental even though I'm coming across that way-because I'm really not. If that's the way they want to live their lives, they can, as long as they're happy, who am I to say otherwise, right? The problem is they judge me. They're constantly criticizing my lifestyle, or how I dress, or how I speak, or the fact that I'm 22 and haven't been "knocked up" yet when both my mom and aunt were pregnant with their firstborn at the age of 13.
Now, I'm a strong individual, I stand my ground, and I usually don't let petty things like that bother me. But this is my family, I grew up with them. There was a time when we all lived in the same house back in Puerto Rico. And I know family members tend to criticize-it's not that out of the ordinary-but it's the way that they do it. They are vicious, they insult me to my face, and laugh about it. Then when I retreat to a quiet room by myself with a book to read, my aunt starts going around saying that I think I'm better than the rest of them, that I look down on them, and don't want to associate myself with them. Which of course is not true. I just wish they would leave me alone to live my life as I please, make my own mistakes. Just because we choose different lifestyles doesn't mean we can't find a common ground and get along. But when I try to say this they dismiss me, say I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, that I know nothing, and that's it.
So now do you see why I'm not T.G.I.F-ing? And why I'm dreading this trip?
Well that's all I've got to report on this end, I will be taking my laptop with me, just in case a fight ensues and I head for my motel room. Will they have internet? I don't know, but if they do, and I get a chance to come online, I'll report on the current progress of the-as I like to call-hellkend (hell weekend...get it?) :P
Monday, September 08, 2008
Too much Law & Order...and Sims 2
Hello everyone, I hope everyone had a good weekend, I guess I could say I did. I had a dream last night, I guess it was more of a nightmare, but I like nightmares (lol), they don't scare me. It was about "Law & Order: SVU" which I happen to LOVE. I got into it about a year ago, and I've been hooked since, and if you have cable, you know that this summer on USA all they did was give "SVU" (and the occasional "Criminal Intent") marathon. I can safely say that I saw every "SVU" marathon this summer. And now I can also say that I've been watching too much "Law & Order", my dream was pretty much a new "SVU" episode that my mind conjured up, this is what I remember of it:
A little girl got raped and kidnapped, and Benson and Stabler were in charge of the investigation (of course), and they start running ideas w/ eachother about the person that might have done it, and they come up w/ a good-if vague-idea of who commited the crime. Benson later goes back to the little girl's house to talk to her mother, when she discovers a drop of blood that the tech. team missed, so she takes a sample of it, and then hears someone coming into the house. (Now at this point I'm Olivia) So I hide in one of the bedrooms-I guess to catch the perpetrator-but when I was about to bust him, I paused in fear. At that moment I did not know why. But then it fades to black (tooooo much tv time lol) and when it reconvenes (I guess after a commercial break) Benson and Stabler are at the girl's school (now I'm Stabler btw) and Olivia informs us that while we were looking for someone from the school before, now we have evidence that shows that while it's still someone from the school, it's actually one of her classmates that took her. So they brought Dr. Huang over to do a profile, and he said that the boy we were looking for was seriously disturbed (duh), had been physically abused, and showed an interest to sadomasochism that he just could not hide. Another commercial break, and then Stabler (still me) is laying in bed sleeping, and he has a prophetic dream. It flashes in front of his eyes as quick images, of first a little boy, then the little boy w/ bloody hands, then he's holding a bloody knife, and finally a look of glee. Stabler wakes up, and so do I. :P
Yup, that was my dream, maybe tonight I'll finish the episode, haha.
Now on for the second part of my blog title...Sims 2, yes I have come to the realization that I have played too much Sims, and this is why. Today at work, I was simming (playing Sims) and my Sim had all these wants that I wasn't fulfilling because I was forcing her to study and gain skill points, which she didn't want to do, BUT I was thinking about her lifetime goal (her aspiration) and in order to make her TRULY happy, I had to forgo her current wants. And then it hit me: Duh Jen, if YOU want to reach YOUR aspiration, you must forgo the things that you currently want, and start thinking about the bigger picture. So I shut off my Sims game (:'( wuahh) and worked on my writing. And that's when I know I've simmed too much, when I learn valuable lessons from it.
A little girl got raped and kidnapped, and Benson and Stabler were in charge of the investigation (of course), and they start running ideas w/ eachother about the person that might have done it, and they come up w/ a good-if vague-idea of who commited the crime. Benson later goes back to the little girl's house to talk to her mother, when she discovers a drop of blood that the tech. team missed, so she takes a sample of it, and then hears someone coming into the house. (Now at this point I'm Olivia) So I hide in one of the bedrooms-I guess to catch the perpetrator-but when I was about to bust him, I paused in fear. At that moment I did not know why. But then it fades to black (tooooo much tv time lol) and when it reconvenes (I guess after a commercial break) Benson and Stabler are at the girl's school (now I'm Stabler btw) and Olivia informs us that while we were looking for someone from the school before, now we have evidence that shows that while it's still someone from the school, it's actually one of her classmates that took her. So they brought Dr. Huang over to do a profile, and he said that the boy we were looking for was seriously disturbed (duh), had been physically abused, and showed an interest to sadomasochism that he just could not hide. Another commercial break, and then Stabler (still me) is laying in bed sleeping, and he has a prophetic dream. It flashes in front of his eyes as quick images, of first a little boy, then the little boy w/ bloody hands, then he's holding a bloody knife, and finally a look of glee. Stabler wakes up, and so do I. :P
Yup, that was my dream, maybe tonight I'll finish the episode, haha.
Now on for the second part of my blog title...Sims 2, yes I have come to the realization that I have played too much Sims, and this is why. Today at work, I was simming (playing Sims) and my Sim had all these wants that I wasn't fulfilling because I was forcing her to study and gain skill points, which she didn't want to do, BUT I was thinking about her lifetime goal (her aspiration) and in order to make her TRULY happy, I had to forgo her current wants. And then it hit me: Duh Jen, if YOU want to reach YOUR aspiration, you must forgo the things that you currently want, and start thinking about the bigger picture. So I shut off my Sims game (:'( wuahh) and worked on my writing. And that's when I know I've simmed too much, when I learn valuable lessons from it.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Last Couple of Days
*Sighs* Where to begin...
The concert was awesome!!! I always forget that Pat Benatar sounds so much better live (if that's even possible, which it is) I didn't want the night to end, and the opening act was pretty good too (Linsay Rush).
Ok, so let me rewind to this past Saturday (when I got my cute cute dress), I wrote on my previous blog (or the one b4 that, I can't remember) that some-not so good-stuff happened. Well I'm not going to get into MUCH detail, I will say however that it involves Darnell (what a shocker). I don't know what his problem is, but he was distant since he picked me and my friends up, then he was cold, then when I asked him what he tought of my dress he said it was "fine" and when I asked him if that was it, just fine, he shrugged and walked out the store, and got into his car. After I finished shopping, and we headed to the car, I asked him why he left and he said I was being "annoying". Well it really hurt my feelings...more than hurt my feelings actually, but whatever, he was like this for the rest of the weekend.
Mind you, I'm so sick of his deal, I have enough issues with myself as it is, I don't need him to give me a new complex. So I've just been keeping my distance, and out of the blue he calls me yesterday to see how I am, and to see what I've been up to, blah blah blah. Ok here's the deal: He acts like such a mean jerk, and then doesn't talk to me for a few days until I've "cooled down" and then calls me and pretends like he wasn't an asshole, and I'm supposed to just sit here and take it? Oh no no no, he forgets who he's dealing with, just because I've tolerated it for the last few months doesn't mean that I'll continue to do so. I'm the type of person that tries things out, and can admit that sometimes I can be in the wrong, but once I've hit my limit, all bets are off. Mr. Leo is in for a rude awakening because this Capricorn is fed up. So I talked to him yesterday, but kept my answers short, and didn't ask him anything. And he called me again today to ask me to dinner, and I told him I was relaxing in a mumu (sp?). I'm going to give him a taste of his own medicine, and just how he throws it in my face that I'll miss him eventually and come crawling back...that's how I'm gonna play things, and he WILL miss me.
Season premiere of Gossip Girl was Monday, and it was really good. I'm glad Serena and Dan are back together. Leighton Meester's hair is lighter which is cute, but I prefer her w/ darker hair.
Bones' 2 hour premiere was yesterday, and it was orgasmic! Funny, funny, cute, funny (lol) and sad. I cannot believe Hudgens and Angela broke up! They finally get her husband to sign the divorce papers and then everything goes downhill. I can't help but to blame Cam for that, and for the record I KNEW she was going to sleep w/ him... "Can I get a ride to the airport?" HAHA! that's my new pick up line :) (Too bad I never need an actual ride to the airport, since I never go anywhere)
I'm sure I also mentioned before that I got the anthology in the mail (the one I won over at Something Wicked) and I read Cynthia Eden's story first (Spellbound) and it was soooo super good!!! She had me at a witch named Serena lol. Yesterday I finished "Turn Me On" by Noelle Mack, and it was so super good as well. I really like her imagination, I loved her idea, and I'm looking forward to reading more of her stuff (guess that means I need to take a trip to the bookstore soon).
I guess that's all I've got to report...it's all I can think of, sorry but this whole Darnell thing has got me super upset, I'm not getting much sleep, and when I DO sleep I have bad dreams of him. I haven't even worked on my novel (man I'm never gonna get that done)...Truth be told, I don't think I CAN do it, how in the heck am I supposed to write 50,000 words!? I'm nowhere near that, I'm at like 5,000. I swear, I just don't have the discipline, I need a good smack in the face. Argh!
The concert was awesome!!! I always forget that Pat Benatar sounds so much better live (if that's even possible, which it is) I didn't want the night to end, and the opening act was pretty good too (Linsay Rush).
Ok, so let me rewind to this past Saturday (when I got my cute cute dress), I wrote on my previous blog (or the one b4 that, I can't remember) that some-not so good-stuff happened. Well I'm not going to get into MUCH detail, I will say however that it involves Darnell (what a shocker). I don't know what his problem is, but he was distant since he picked me and my friends up, then he was cold, then when I asked him what he tought of my dress he said it was "fine" and when I asked him if that was it, just fine, he shrugged and walked out the store, and got into his car. After I finished shopping, and we headed to the car, I asked him why he left and he said I was being "annoying". Well it really hurt my feelings...more than hurt my feelings actually, but whatever, he was like this for the rest of the weekend.
Mind you, I'm so sick of his deal, I have enough issues with myself as it is, I don't need him to give me a new complex. So I've just been keeping my distance, and out of the blue he calls me yesterday to see how I am, and to see what I've been up to, blah blah blah. Ok here's the deal: He acts like such a mean jerk, and then doesn't talk to me for a few days until I've "cooled down" and then calls me and pretends like he wasn't an asshole, and I'm supposed to just sit here and take it? Oh no no no, he forgets who he's dealing with, just because I've tolerated it for the last few months doesn't mean that I'll continue to do so. I'm the type of person that tries things out, and can admit that sometimes I can be in the wrong, but once I've hit my limit, all bets are off. Mr. Leo is in for a rude awakening because this Capricorn is fed up. So I talked to him yesterday, but kept my answers short, and didn't ask him anything. And he called me again today to ask me to dinner, and I told him I was relaxing in a mumu (sp?). I'm going to give him a taste of his own medicine, and just how he throws it in my face that I'll miss him eventually and come crawling back...that's how I'm gonna play things, and he WILL miss me.
Season premiere of Gossip Girl was Monday, and it was really good. I'm glad Serena and Dan are back together. Leighton Meester's hair is lighter which is cute, but I prefer her w/ darker hair.
Bones' 2 hour premiere was yesterday, and it was orgasmic! Funny, funny, cute, funny (lol) and sad. I cannot believe Hudgens and Angela broke up! They finally get her husband to sign the divorce papers and then everything goes downhill. I can't help but to blame Cam for that, and for the record I KNEW she was going to sleep w/ him... "Can I get a ride to the airport?" HAHA! that's my new pick up line :) (Too bad I never need an actual ride to the airport, since I never go anywhere)
I'm sure I also mentioned before that I got the anthology in the mail (the one I won over at Something Wicked) and I read Cynthia Eden's story first (Spellbound) and it was soooo super good!!! She had me at a witch named Serena lol. Yesterday I finished "Turn Me On" by Noelle Mack, and it was so super good as well. I really like her imagination, I loved her idea, and I'm looking forward to reading more of her stuff (guess that means I need to take a trip to the bookstore soon).
I guess that's all I've got to report...it's all I can think of, sorry but this whole Darnell thing has got me super upset, I'm not getting much sleep, and when I DO sleep I have bad dreams of him. I haven't even worked on my novel (man I'm never gonna get that done)...Truth be told, I don't think I CAN do it, how in the heck am I supposed to write 50,000 words!? I'm nowhere near that, I'm at like 5,000. I swear, I just don't have the discipline, I need a good smack in the face. Argh!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
TONIGHT
YAY!! PAT BENATAR...TONIGHT!!
I am so super excited that this is all I'm going to post, a lot of stuff (baaad) happened yesterday, and I don't want to ruin my evening by thinking about. Although something good that did happen yesterday was that I got the anthology I won in the mail yesterday. :) I will start reading it tomorrow probably.
Oh and in case I forget, tomorrow is the season premiere of "Gossip Girl" YES! And more importantly, Wednesday is the 2 hour premiere of "BONES" YES YES YES YES YESYESYESYESYES! (Can you tell I'm excited...well I am) Ok I'm off now, I'm going to start getting ready for the concert soon, so I better get my butt in gear.
TONIGHT....
I am so super excited that this is all I'm going to post, a lot of stuff (baaad) happened yesterday, and I don't want to ruin my evening by thinking about. Although something good that did happen yesterday was that I got the anthology I won in the mail yesterday. :) I will start reading it tomorrow probably.
Oh and in case I forget, tomorrow is the season premiere of "Gossip Girl" YES! And more importantly, Wednesday is the 2 hour premiere of "BONES" YES YES YES YES YESYESYESYESYES! (Can you tell I'm excited...well I am) Ok I'm off now, I'm going to start getting ready for the concert soon, so I better get my butt in gear.
TONIGHT....
Friday, August 29, 2008
TGIF
It's friday, and I'm glad. No work till Monday, Virginia is coming down from Jersey today. I'm going shopping tomorrow, and then Virginia and I are going to the concert on Sunday. I'm pretty excited, I have a lot planned this weekend.
Wednesday was great, my brother got outta jail and he looks good! Lost a whole bunch of weight, I was really glad to see him, and so were his kids.
Thursday I got Apartment Life (Sims 2 expansion pack) and OMG it is GREAT! There are witches now, and you can become a witch and depending on which kind of spells you do, that will determine wether you're a good witch or a bad witch. You can fly on a broom and conjure up a familiar, and teleport. Oh and you get a book of shadows, soooo cooool!!!! I did a lil lil lil bit of writing today, not much because, well I wanted to play Sims (hehe oops)
Ok that's all I've got, I guess. I don't know why but I find it hard to write on my blog, yet I can leave super long comments on other people's blogs, lol. Oh well.
2 Days Till....
Wednesday was great, my brother got outta jail and he looks good! Lost a whole bunch of weight, I was really glad to see him, and so were his kids.
Thursday I got Apartment Life (Sims 2 expansion pack) and OMG it is GREAT! There are witches now, and you can become a witch and depending on which kind of spells you do, that will determine wether you're a good witch or a bad witch. You can fly on a broom and conjure up a familiar, and teleport. Oh and you get a book of shadows, soooo cooool!!!! I did a lil lil lil bit of writing today, not much because, well I wanted to play Sims (hehe oops)
Ok that's all I've got, I guess. I don't know why but I find it hard to write on my blog, yet I can leave super long comments on other people's blogs, lol. Oh well.
2 Days Till....
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
It's been daysssss....
I know, I know, I've been a bad bad girl, but in my defense I've been sick since Wednesday and everytime I log on I read other people's blogs first and leave comments, and by the time I get here, I'm too tired to write anything.
Ok so tomorrow is the big day, why you ask?
1. My brother gets out of jail: Good thing, I miss him, and I'm sure he's been miserable in there, hopefully he has learned his lesson and wont do foolish things again (but I kinda doubt it)
2. My nephew (The lil cutie below) is starting Kindergarden! I still can't believe it, he's 5 and I can still remember him being this lil tiny baby who's diaper I used to change. Wow they sure do grow up fast.
3. This is going to sound stupid--since I'm so excited about it--but the new Sims 2 expansion pack (Apartment Life) comes out tomorrow! I love my sims game, and play everyday, I actually play when I'm supposed to be writing...eek...like this past week...and today. But I can't help it, I'm addicted.
Now as I just mentioned, my writing isn't going so well, I'm procrastinating. There's a number of reasons why I haven't been writing as much as I should, I probably haven't mentioned this on this blog before, but, I want to be a romance writer. I've taken a long journey in life to find this goal, writing is something I've always done, something I've always liked, and I think I've done well, but since it was always a part of me I didn't notice how much I love it. I took for granted the feeling that I used to get as a little girl when my teachers chose my essays to read out loud to the class, or when the little story I wrote and illustrated in the 3rd grade won first place out of all the different 3rd grade classes, and got laminated and turned into a little book and was copied and sent out through the school.
I don't know, it was just something I always did, and I didn't think much about it. Then I wanted to be an actress, and do stage theater, and I spent years taking classes and performing and I thought that was what I was going to do w/ my life, and then my mother got in the way. She gave me an altimatum: Either give up my theater dreams and go to a regular college and study something else, or get disowned and not have any kind of support (financial or otherwise). I think we all know what I chose, and I regret it everyday, but I can't go back and change things, I can only look forward. I honestly don't know when I had my epiphony, but somewhere along the line I realized that what I liked most about acting was he scripts themselves and being able to read something and act it out to people the way that I thought people should perceive it. One of my acting teachers once said that to be a great actor one has to love the english language, love words, and I realized that I DO. I've been writing all my life, and I love to read as much. I love romance novels, I love being in that world, and that's what all of my short stories used to lack, romance. Like I said, I don't know how I realized all this, but I know that more than anything, I want to be a published romance author. I want to write contemporary pieces, I want to write paranormal romance, and I think this time around instead of just bitching and whining that this is what I want to do, I've decided to actually try to do it. REALLY.
So I started writing a novel, which I might not do anything with once I'm done, I just want to see if I'm able to write one, see if I'm able to write 50,000 words (that's a lot), and if I can, and do, then I'll polish it, or rewrite it or write something completely different. But I'm going to do it, I'm doing my research, and I'm plannig on joining RWA and, well I'm kinda making this up as I go along, but I'm taking it one step at a time, and I guess we'll see where this leads me.
Wow that was a mouthful (or fingerful lol) anyways that's all I'm going to say for today except for...
5 DAYS TILL....
Monday, August 18, 2008
Again...
Darnell and I got into another fight. It was a really stupid fight (like always) something that should've been resolved in minutes, but because neither of us want to back down first it's been almost 2 days. This is sucks major balls, and the only reason why I don't call him and end this stupid thing is pride...or maybe a bit of competative challenge. The last thing he said to me was "Oh ur going to regret not talking to me in a little while." Because usually after a while I miss him, and I go and talk to him and say I'm sorry even though I'm not always in the wrong, and so he expects it now. And I'm not going to keep backing down, I refuse to give him anymore power. So, I'm not calling him, and it sucks because I left my Wii remote at his place and now I can't play guitar hero, but I guess that's a good thing, I can work on my novel.
In other news, my brother gets out of jail in 9 days. I haven't really talked about it because things arn't going to be good when he does. He's not a bad guy, and he isn't really a criminal. He got locked up for 10 months because of his "baby momma". Everytime they had an argument she would call the cops and accuse him of either beating her or one of the kids. My brother had friends in the police department and they knew him and knew her and they KNEW that it wasn't true, but they had to report it anyways even though they didn't do anything to him. But my brother didn't learn, and after so many incidents, you can't just write it off, so he was forced to do some time and do some programs. The problem my brother has (REALLY has) is that he's a con-artist. I love him, but he gets away w/ EVERYTHING because he is so charismatic and when he smiles it's contagious and everyone likes his easy going personality, but what they don't know is that he's eating your brain, manipulating you till you do what he wants you to do. He has so much potential to do so many things w/ his life, but he's lazy, he likes people to take care of him so he doesn't have to. And for the last 28 years, people have taken care of him, and they continue to do so. So now my step-dad wants to give him a job at the store and do all this stuff, and of course I'm going to be the one stuck dealing w/ him. Dealing with his screw ups and covering for him because I'm not immune to his charm. I may resist at first, but he knows how to play people, and he'll just play me harder till I'm cornered, and finally give in. That's the way it's been since...well since I was born.
I've got a headache just blogging about all this....
13 DAYS TILL....
In other news, my brother gets out of jail in 9 days. I haven't really talked about it because things arn't going to be good when he does. He's not a bad guy, and he isn't really a criminal. He got locked up for 10 months because of his "baby momma". Everytime they had an argument she would call the cops and accuse him of either beating her or one of the kids. My brother had friends in the police department and they knew him and knew her and they KNEW that it wasn't true, but they had to report it anyways even though they didn't do anything to him. But my brother didn't learn, and after so many incidents, you can't just write it off, so he was forced to do some time and do some programs. The problem my brother has (REALLY has) is that he's a con-artist. I love him, but he gets away w/ EVERYTHING because he is so charismatic and when he smiles it's contagious and everyone likes his easy going personality, but what they don't know is that he's eating your brain, manipulating you till you do what he wants you to do. He has so much potential to do so many things w/ his life, but he's lazy, he likes people to take care of him so he doesn't have to. And for the last 28 years, people have taken care of him, and they continue to do so. So now my step-dad wants to give him a job at the store and do all this stuff, and of course I'm going to be the one stuck dealing w/ him. Dealing with his screw ups and covering for him because I'm not immune to his charm. I may resist at first, but he knows how to play people, and he'll just play me harder till I'm cornered, and finally give in. That's the way it's been since...well since I was born.
I've got a headache just blogging about all this....
13 DAYS TILL....
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Not much...
Not much to tell today...um, I'm tired..hehe. Tomorrow is Darnell's birthday, he'll be 28.
Oh, also, Selene (my kitty cat) is in heat...arrgh, yowling up a storm. Unfortunately I cant afford to take her to the vet so we're both gonna have to suffer. She's a horny one...like her mommy :D
That's it, that's all I gotta report. Like I said noooooooothing going on today. You know cept for....
18 Days Till...
Oh, also, Selene (my kitty cat) is in heat...arrgh, yowling up a storm. Unfortunately I cant afford to take her to the vet so we're both gonna have to suffer. She's a horny one...like her mommy :D
That's it, that's all I gotta report. Like I said noooooooothing going on today. You know cept for....
18 Days Till...
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
"oooook" moment
So here's a random, should have been normal, encounter w/ my landlords:
So Ruben (my landlord :D) was supposed to stop by my house yesterday to take care of a leaking problem in my roof, and also to collect the rent (but we'd agreed that he'd stop by my job to get it since I practically live there). He was supposed to be at my house @ 3, but didn't show up (no surprise). I get a call around 4:30, it's his wife Zebel, and she has called to let me know that Ruben wasn't going to make it because he had car trouble and his car was in the shop. (No problem) And if it was ok for her to get the rent later that night. So I told her that the money was at my job w/ my step-dad (I work for him) like we all agreed on and that she could stop by the store whenever she wanted to pick it up. So she says ok, and we hang up. End of story . . .
Or so I thought . . .
Later that evening, around 7:00, there's a knock on my door. It's Ruben. He tells me that he stopped by to tell me that he couldn't stop by because he had no car, and that yes, he knew his wife spoke w/ me about it earlier. And if it was ok for him to come Wednesday, I said yes, and then he said he wasn't going to get the rent today (yesterday), he'd wait till Wednesday. Then he left. End of story. REALLY.
So I'm sorry but...WHY did u show up at my door to tell me something that I already knew and to ask me something you could have asked over the phone??? And no, he does not live near me...so why bother? If anything, wouldn't he have just gone to my job to get the rent money since he decided to come down here anyway??? (FYI: My job is only a couple of blocks from my house).
Does anybody else find this a tad odd? Random? Anomalous? <-I like that word :P
19 Days Till...
So Ruben (my landlord :D) was supposed to stop by my house yesterday to take care of a leaking problem in my roof, and also to collect the rent (but we'd agreed that he'd stop by my job to get it since I practically live there). He was supposed to be at my house @ 3, but didn't show up (no surprise). I get a call around 4:30, it's his wife Zebel, and she has called to let me know that Ruben wasn't going to make it because he had car trouble and his car was in the shop. (No problem) And if it was ok for her to get the rent later that night. So I told her that the money was at my job w/ my step-dad (I work for him) like we all agreed on and that she could stop by the store whenever she wanted to pick it up. So she says ok, and we hang up. End of story . . .
Or so I thought . . .
Later that evening, around 7:00, there's a knock on my door. It's Ruben. He tells me that he stopped by to tell me that he couldn't stop by because he had no car, and that yes, he knew his wife spoke w/ me about it earlier. And if it was ok for him to come Wednesday, I said yes, and then he said he wasn't going to get the rent today (yesterday), he'd wait till Wednesday. Then he left. End of story. REALLY.
So I'm sorry but...WHY did u show up at my door to tell me something that I already knew and to ask me something you could have asked over the phone??? And no, he does not live near me...so why bother? If anything, wouldn't he have just gone to my job to get the rent money since he decided to come down here anyway??? (FYI: My job is only a couple of blocks from my house).
Does anybody else find this a tad odd? Random? Anomalous? <-I like that word :P
19 Days Till...
Monday, August 11, 2008
Much to discuss...
Ok, where to start...(this is what happens when u skip a day of blogging)...
Ok Saturday: Many hours after my blog, Darnell gave me a call @ 2 a.m. He wanted to talk about our argument, and how he missed me and blah blah blah....we had GREAT make-up sex. Like OMG, romance novel, cry afterwards sex! Yeah, by far the best sex I've ever had, and only took an hour. So yeah, we're ok for now, as ok as we EVER get.
Ok moving on...
I read an interesting post over on Wicked Authors today, about ones writing habit, and how you should write a little everyday. I found it highly ironic because I stopped writing for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time, and I just started trying to get back into it by starting a new story, and I've found it extremely hard. Starting any type of writing for me is always the hardest thing, and it seems like this time around it's even worse, I was beginning to think I sucked. Like I lost my talent, or I never had any lol, but reading that blog eased my mind a bit, and it makes sense, so I shall set my own daily word count goal and see if that helps.
Now....I saved the BEST for last (*drum rooooolll*)
I bought tickets for PAT BENATAR!!! OMG she's going to be playing at the Klein at the end of this month, and I can't believe she's going to be so close to me (a couple of blocks, literally). So I've bought 2 tickets, and I'm going to go see her, and it's going to be freaking totally super awesome! And if you haven't noticed, I'm quite excited. Pat Benatar is like royalty for me, I worship her, and actually she was my first concert experience back when I was 16 (2002, not that long ago...I'm still a wee baby)so it will be totally fun to go see her again, and I don't have to travel all the way to Westbury, NY to see her, I can WALK. HOLY COW, I'm still in awe/shock/other things haha. But I shall be counting down, so be prepared for the name Pat Benatar to come across my blog for the next couple of weeks. So without further ado....
20 DAYS TILL....
Ok Saturday: Many hours after my blog, Darnell gave me a call @ 2 a.m. He wanted to talk about our argument, and how he missed me and blah blah blah....we had GREAT make-up sex. Like OMG, romance novel, cry afterwards sex! Yeah, by far the best sex I've ever had, and only took an hour. So yeah, we're ok for now, as ok as we EVER get.
Ok moving on...
I read an interesting post over on Wicked Authors today, about ones writing habit, and how you should write a little everyday. I found it highly ironic because I stopped writing for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time, and I just started trying to get back into it by starting a new story, and I've found it extremely hard. Starting any type of writing for me is always the hardest thing, and it seems like this time around it's even worse, I was beginning to think I sucked. Like I lost my talent, or I never had any lol, but reading that blog eased my mind a bit, and it makes sense, so I shall set my own daily word count goal and see if that helps.
Now....I saved the BEST for last (*drum rooooolll*)
I bought tickets for PAT BENATAR!!! OMG she's going to be playing at the Klein at the end of this month, and I can't believe she's going to be so close to me (a couple of blocks, literally). So I've bought 2 tickets, and I'm going to go see her, and it's going to be freaking totally super awesome! And if you haven't noticed, I'm quite excited. Pat Benatar is like royalty for me, I worship her, and actually she was my first concert experience back when I was 16 (2002, not that long ago...I'm still a wee baby)so it will be totally fun to go see her again, and I don't have to travel all the way to Westbury, NY to see her, I can WALK. HOLY COW, I'm still in awe/shock/other things haha. But I shall be counting down, so be prepared for the name Pat Benatar to come across my blog for the next couple of weeks. So without further ado....
20 DAYS TILL....
Saturday, August 09, 2008
I'M BACK WHOOOOO!
After almost 2 years of bloggerless activity I am back!
So you see, when blogger changed and did all that google stuff, I switched like they told me to, but my blog got lost somewhere. It wasn't in my new or old file and I didn't know what to do, I sure as hell wasn't going to do another one, so I walked away from it. Every 6-8 months I would come back, try again, but to no avail. So finally for some random reason, my blog appeared this time around...yayay. So I'm back!!!
And it couldn't come at a better time, because I need to vent a bit, and what better place than my blog, right?
So Darnell and I got into-yet again-another argument, and I know if I get into the details of said argument its going to sound...er...read....dumb. But it's not the first argument we've had of that kind, and it's the principal of the thing. I will not tone myself down just because there's people in the room. If I want to kiss you or hug you, I'm going to do it regardless. It's not like I was trying to have sex, or do anything sexual. I missed him, I wanted to hug him and kiss him, and he doesn't seem to have a problem w/ that when we're by ourselves, or certain of HIS friends. But he seems to have a problem w/ it when it's my friends or other random people. It makes me feel like he's ashamed of something, and I don't like that feeling. I am who I am and I refuse to act otherwise. I happen to like a little PDA, and I think I've been more than accomodating. I try not to cling to him too much in public and when I kiss him I don't slip him any tounge because I know he's not that comfortable about PDA, but like I adjusted somewhat, I would hope he would as well. And he only does when Alex or Romeo are around (2 of his friends), but no one else. If he really wants to be my boyfriend he has to compromise, and I don't think my hugging him in front of Jeff is a big deal. So I ask u, what is he ashamed of???
So you see, when blogger changed and did all that google stuff, I switched like they told me to, but my blog got lost somewhere. It wasn't in my new or old file and I didn't know what to do, I sure as hell wasn't going to do another one, so I walked away from it. Every 6-8 months I would come back, try again, but to no avail. So finally for some random reason, my blog appeared this time around...yayay. So I'm back!!!
And it couldn't come at a better time, because I need to vent a bit, and what better place than my blog, right?
So Darnell and I got into-yet again-another argument, and I know if I get into the details of said argument its going to sound...er...read....dumb. But it's not the first argument we've had of that kind, and it's the principal of the thing. I will not tone myself down just because there's people in the room. If I want to kiss you or hug you, I'm going to do it regardless. It's not like I was trying to have sex, or do anything sexual. I missed him, I wanted to hug him and kiss him, and he doesn't seem to have a problem w/ that when we're by ourselves, or certain of HIS friends. But he seems to have a problem w/ it when it's my friends or other random people. It makes me feel like he's ashamed of something, and I don't like that feeling. I am who I am and I refuse to act otherwise. I happen to like a little PDA, and I think I've been more than accomodating. I try not to cling to him too much in public and when I kiss him I don't slip him any tounge because I know he's not that comfortable about PDA, but like I adjusted somewhat, I would hope he would as well. And he only does when Alex or Romeo are around (2 of his friends), but no one else. If he really wants to be my boyfriend he has to compromise, and I don't think my hugging him in front of Jeff is a big deal. So I ask u, what is he ashamed of???
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