Work Work Work Work Work

I'm exhausted ya'll! I've been working a lot. Definitely the opposite of my desired position as Lady of Leisure.

Plus side, this week's check is gonna be nice. I have 23 hours of OT. 👯 I already have most of the paycheck planned, and I should have enough left over to maybe get my hair dyed. Finally getting around to it. I've been saying for over a year that I want my hair rose brown. I can't wait to get it done. I also can't wait to get rid of all these grays. Something I thought I'd never say. #hypocrite

Anyway, because of all the hours I've been working, I haven't had a chance to write. I wanted to try to get some writing in on Sunday morning, but there were technical difficulties with the printer at work and so I couldn't print my WIP out.

I need a break...LOL.

Semi-Productive Weekend

After working 9 days, I got 2 days off and it was wonderful! Though it went way too fast.

I decided a few weeks ago that I wanted to get back to writing, and I really wanted to continue working on one of my YA paranormals from a few years ago. Thing is, I'm super disorganized, and so I had the story I was writing, and character sheets, important plot points, etc. scattered all over from USB drives, to laptop files, to random notebooks. So this weekend I decided to find them all and put them in one spot - so I can then transfer them to my new Dabble account. I'm really looking forward to trying Dabble out. I'm hoping it'll help me get a little bit more organized.

Anywho, I was able to accomplish that small task. Even with Chilling Adventures of Sabrina dropping this weekend. Yay me!

I also did most of my laundry, and started working on my pen pal letters. I have at least 2 that need responding. And I would like to send one to Kandise soon as possible too. I also painted a new pin board, AND binge watched Sabrina. All in all, I think it was a good weekend.

Eternal Work

I was having a lovely month off work (yay for working for a college), but I was dreading coming back. I knew once I got back that the bullshit was gonna ensue. And I was right. Long story short, almost everyone that works front of house is broken - accidents, surgeries, re-injuries, etc. Since we are short staffed to begin with, this really puts us in a tight spot. Which is why I'm on day 8 of work. Thankfully though, I'm getting this Friday and Saturday off.

I wasn't sure if I would have a day off until today.

On the one hand, I'm super tired, and even though I just had a month off, I need another vacation. Haha. I hate working so many days. I'm lazy. My body gets tired. I don't have time or energy to do anything (like writing, which I'm trying to get back to).

On the other hand, the OT will be nice. I still need to pay off my cruise and pay for a passport. I'm going to Zenkaikon in March and would like some money to spend in the Artist Alley (I need piiiiins).

But I'm really glad to be getting those days off. Now lets see what happens next week. How many days will I work? Will I have a day off? Only time will tell!

Finding Myself (again)

It seems as if every time I'm in search of answers, I find myself back here. It's been 3 years since my last post and I would love to say things have been great up until now, but the truth is my life is the same roller coaster ride that it has been since I first started this blog.

I find myself in yet another identity crisis. I swear, this happens like every other year. Usually I can either solve it fairly quickly, or I can shove it into the recesses of my mind for another year or two. This one is too big and loud for me to ignore though.

I'm feeling trapped in my life again. Especially at work. It's weird, because I don't necessarily hate my job. I get a lot of time off - perks of working at a college - but I don't want to work anymore. I want to work for myself. I want to set my own hours and be my own boss.

Problem is, I don't have any skills that translates into full-time, work from home opportunities. A couple of people brought up my writing, but I'm hella rusty. Not to mention even when I wasn't rusty, my self-loathing prevented me from going all the way through with self publishing. And from what I've seen, the publishing/self-publishing world is going bananas, so who knows how that works anymore.

My best friend Cynthia is super crafty and she does these awesome 3D origami things. She's done Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask for my birthday(s) and they are amazing! I've been telling her she should sell them, but she puts it off. Maybe if she can teach me to do them, we could do this together. I know she's also struggling with trying to find what she wants to do. She's currently working at a call center and she's sick of it. I think it would be fun for the both of us to try and do this. So this is something we're going to talk about this weekend. We'll see what happens...

In the meantime, I've decided to dust off this blog and use it to get my writing muscles back on track. SOMETHING in my life has to change, and I'm the only one that can change it, so let's start with this. :)

NaNo Day 1

Happy NaNoWrimo my fellow wrimos! It's day one and I'm about to go to bed - don't worry, it isn't the END of day one, but the beginning. I've been awake since the day before. Wanted to get started on my writing at midnight. I'm going to bed feeling good. 1875 words under my belt. Not bad, especially since I'm hoping to still get some more writing done later in the day today.

My story is coming out a bit differently than what I had envisioned. But I'm pleased with it so far. The two characters I've written have begun to take shape in my mind, so I'm hoping things will continue smoothly. Although, when I pick up where I left off I'll be introducing a new character whose personality, attitude, and voice I'm going to have to find. Wish me luck!

Happy NaNoWeen!

It's Halloween, peeps! My most favorite time of the year. Unfortunately, the day is eclipsed by the start of NaNoWrimo - which I will begin promptly at midnight. So today, instead of going all Halloweeny, I'm staying in; listening to a Halloween mix I made on Spotify and just getting some last minutes NaNo things ironed out for tonight. I also may or may not have eating $8 worth of candy...

I'm anxious to start writing. I have no idea how this story is going to go, but I want to hurry up and start writing it and see if I can figure it all out. I also have been tasked with the duty of making sure my pal Crystal-Rain Love writes her lil tushy off.

I'm ready! (I hope) Are you?

If you're doing NaNo, come find/friend me - SaturnMoonie is my moniker. :)

To NaNo Or Not To NaNo...

November is fast approaching. That means NaNoWriMo is almost here. I wasn't thinking that hard about it, because I was thinking about skipping it this year. I wanted to try to get my Cotton Candy Girls 1 done. I did finish it, about a month or two ago actually. I wanted to read through it to make sure things made sense. I'm maybe halfway through with it. This is something that should have only taken me a day or two, but I hate reading my own stuff and it's even harder when I'm going through one of my self doubt moments. Basically I think my story is a piece of shit and that's why I haven't finished reading it. So I wasn't really thinking about starting something else. Plus I do have my YA that I want to continue working on...

But then I was talking to Virginia and she was asking me about NaNo and what I was going to do. After our conversation, I decided I would do it! But  I won't be working on my YA - I need to do research as I write it and that'll slow my writing. Because my work schedule varies, I won't know if I'll be able to hit the library, so I'm going to continue to wait on that particular project. But as I was thinking what to write, I remembered an idea I had last week that I had jotted down - and it is another paranormal YA. So tonight, I'm gonna pull some books I have on hand that will help as far as research and I'll take a stab at NaNo this year again. :)

Finding The Time

I know I've missed the last two weeks of Food Porn Friday posts. My schedule has to be completely reworked now that I got a job. There's good things and bad things about this particular gig. Good stuff includes, the fact that I'm going to be getting a paycheck, the fact that it's a part time job so I'll still have time to write, and most importantly, there's no hard selling involved. The bad part is that it's retail, so I don't have a set weekly schedule. My hours will be different every time I work and so will my days. I have to learn to plan ahead so I don't miss my blog posts, and also so I have time to write, edit, read, review, edit Virginia's reviews, promote other authors, and participate in events.

Piece of cake...

I do have the planning thing down a smidgen, but then people come to me with "emergencies" and I have to drop everything I am doing and help them. Always happens. I have to learn to say "no."

Anywho, I just wanted to acknowledge the fact that I am aware of my missing Friday posts. But hey - at least I've been getting my Toe-Tapping Thursdays in! :D

Don't worry, I'll figure it out!

Truth

Actions speak louder than words

And your silence says it all.

Letting you hurt me after all these years...

I'm astounded at your skill

Not a word was uttered and yet I heard you loud and clear

You can tell me that everything is ok,

but we both know that's not the case.

I don't feel the same for you

And though you say I'm still your best,

I guess I'll never be that blessed.

Maybe I shouldn't have asked

Maybe you should have lied

Maybe we should admit defeat

And move on with our lives.

But we don't

We refuse

You fight for me and I fight for you

You stay in spite of my insults

I stay in spite of your lies

Sorry to say I think we've plateaued

We'll never get back what we had long ago.

Looking for Ms. Rose

I have a friend who has talked about writing her own book since we met 2 years ago. I think it's why we bonded initially; she was writing a work of fiction based on her life growing up, but only had a few chapters after a couple of years of writing. I had 2 finished novellas and was thinking about getting back into writing (this was during my hiatus). I was excited to meet someone - face to face - who had a similar goal as I did. She was excited because she had never met anyone else that liked to write, period.

I talked about writing constantly and she never did. I've worked on getting my writing muscles back to where they once were by doing creative writing prompts, and blogging on occasion, and actually writing stories. She started to edit the stuff she had, but quickly stopped. Then she started talking about a children's book she wanted to write.

She sent me her children's story this weekend. I am proud that she wrote it, and finished it. Proud that she started taking steps into getting it published. I'm also proud to say, that I enjoyed reading it.

I have become a sounding board to her, not only as a critique partner for the things she's written, but also as far as getting published and the steps that she needs to take.

I am not a published author, I've barely just begun to consider myself a writer again. But I've done some research and I've submitted manuscripts in the past, and I guess in her mind that means something. I am more than happy to impart whatever sliver of knowledge I do have.

Can I just say that for someone who loves to research stuff, she sure does NOT research any of this! Haha.

My friend spent this weekend bugging me - and I say that with all the love in the world - about what to do. I tried to tell her that there are a number of ways to go about getting her book out there, including self publishing which she did not want to hear about.

After that the conversation changed to marketing - her writer's platform. Now, I recall a few weeks ago having a conversation with her, telling her she needed to get her name out there, let people get to know her. I told her to at LEAST get a Facebook page. She said no. Said, she would do all that after the book was written. Funny how life is; I remember saying the same thing to my friend Lisa and her kindly setting me straight. A writer must market themselves in addition to their product. If people "know" you, they're more likely to buy your stuff. This weekend, my friend did a bit of research and came across the term writer's platform, so I encouraged her again to create an online presence. To meet and interact with other writers, to network.

This got me thinking about my own platform and my own networking. I believe I have a voice...but it isn't a full voice. I make my passion for reading known. People know I review books. But not many of them know (or remember) that I write. And that's my fault. I purposely don't mention it. Because I'm scared. Because I doubt myself every minute of every hour. I keep telling myself that I'll start promoting myself as a writer when I know for certain that I'll finish the current story I'm writing. But that's just a cop out. I'm afraid of announcing to the world my intentions and then not following through. I'm afraid of not finishing my story. I'm just afraid, period.

I've met and have surrounded myself with a great bunch of people who I know would be supportive of my journey. I need to believe in myself and throw myself out there 100% and just do it. I need to overcome my fears - I really do!

Writing (but mostly research) Day

I've put aside my romance for now. The one I'm writing, not the one I'm reading. Things were going slow, and the YA that I've been brainstorming for months kept bugging me to work on it, so that's what I did. I had written about a page a couple of months back and I thought at one point that I would delete it and start over, but after reading it over today I actually liked it, and decided to continue where I left off. I got about another page in a half done which isn't a lot, but I needed to do some research for an upcoming description. That took a very long time, but I finally got it. Here are the pics, think of it as a puzzle, feel free to put them together. :P

 

Distractions

Writing is hard enough for me as it is, between the interruptions, and procrastination, but now I have distractions too. You're probably thinking that distractions are part of procrastinating, but I'm telling you it's whole different thing!

When I finally buckle down, get the creative juices flowing, get my muse to speak to me, start writing word after word, sentence after sentence, BAM, a distraction comes along and stills my momentum.

I'm talking about this:

Seriously!? She couldn't go be cute in another room like Selene? She just had to plant herself directly in front of me. See? Distraction!

1 VS 2 or More

I've been debating whether I should work on two (two is my limit) different stories at the same time, or just continue working on the one I'm currently writing.

Things are going slow - slower than I would like them to be. I know it's because I'm not 100% in love with this story. And I've got other ideas and other stories I want to write, but I started this one first, and I kind of want to follow through on it.

That being said, I've worked on two stories in the past, and I think I'm more successful that way. If I get stuck one I can jump to the other. But obviously I'm out of practice, so I don't know how well I'd manage this time around.

So I'm a little torn on what I should do: Should I stick with one, or try to work on two?

New story. Male inspiration

So it's been a rather long time since I wrote about...well...writing! Specifically, details about something I am writing. That's because I hadn't really been writing. I wanted to...but between being out of practice, and scared, and stressed out from (mostly) work, I couldn't bring myself to create anything.

Now that I'm (currently) unemployed, and am no longer getting massive headaches, I feel like I can finally create something.

Thus my new story idea was born. I will not get into the details, honestly because I don't have many. LOL. I just have one basic idea and instead of trying to plan everything out, I'm going to just sit and write and see what comes out of that one idea.

I will say, it's a romance, of course. My characters aren't 100% fully formed in my mind, so they could be anybody, really. I did have an epiphany for my male character, Gavin Tanner and what (or who) he looks like. 

Daniel Gillies

First, can I just say that I had no freaking idea he was married to Rachel Leigh Cook! Good job girl!!! Where have you been hiding him!?

Secondly, I've never been a fan of guys in suits. I always think they look stuffy and too serious. But he makes suits look so fucking sexy!

I first saw him on The Vampire Diaries where he played Elijah Mikaelson, one of the original vampires. The original family was such a hit with TVD fans that they got their own spinoff show, The Originals, where Daniel Gillies is reprising his role of Elijah. I can watch him for hours.

I don't know if this is the type of actor he is, or if this is the way he's portraying the character of Elijah, but Daniel Gillies does this thing where he's so quite, so poised, barely moves, and yet you can't take your eyes off of him. He has this quiet presence, and it's so gentlemanly with something else hidden beneath it. The moment he opens his mouth to speak he has everyone's undivided attention. There's scenes where he's having a serious conversation but his eyes sparkle....they twinkle, dammit! I'm smitten, if you can't tell.

So Gavin Tanner looks a lot like Daniel Gillies in my mind. My mind has very good taste.

The Story That Will Never Be Written

A year ago (January of 2013) I started writing a story at work. I don't have any notes about this story, so I'm assuming it was a spur of the moment thing. And I'm also assuming that I only worked on it briefly one night in between calls. I came upon the saved story in my documents at work while I was deleting things and upon opening it and reading the few words I had typed up, I remember coming up with one of the character's name, but that's it. I don't recall where the story was headed or what it was going to be about.

So here it is, the story that will never be written:

Cory and Linda had been dating for two years now, and they looked as in love now as they did when they first started dating. Astrid looked at her best friend and smiled at the glowing expression on her face. She was very happy for Linda. In all of her years, Astrid had never seen such love before. She was convinced it did not exist. But now she knew it did, and the idea filled her with satisfaction. All those years of searching for a bigger meaning, and she finally found it. Love.

The three of them were having after-dinner drinks and Astrid had a sneaking suspicion of what was about to come. She watched as Cory gulped the remainder of his Rum and Coke and set his glass down a little bit too hard. Linda stared at him with a furrow brow. Astrid waited patiently, amused.

“Now that we finished our dinner, I wanted to take the opportunity to speak with you, Astrid.” Cory locked gazes with Astrid and she sat back in her chair.

“Alright,” Astrid responded.

Cory cleared his throat and continued. “You are Linda’s best friend, but more than that, you’re her only family. And as her only family, I want to ask you for permission to marry her.”

Linda gasped, and Astrid’s gaze switched over to her.

Look Who Popped up!

As we all know, I lack discipline. That's why it's been 3 months since I'm updated this blog, even though one of my New Years resolutions was to write MORE.

But I'm not a complete and total failure! I have been doing very well reading and reviewing books. Book Universe (whose name may be changing soon) has been updated frequently; so I have been writing more...just not as much as I had planned. Plus talking about books I've read wasn't really what I had in mind when I said I needed to write more. I'm still very out of practice in my writing and I really want to tackle a new story, and also revisit The Cotton Candy Girls: Emma and do another edit. I feel mentally I'm ready, and I understand what this story needs more of (and no, it isn't sex).

So I'm going to try this one more time - writing regularly. Truth be told, there are a few times a week where I think of something and say to myself, "I need to blog this!" But I don't. Why? Because I'm lazy. No other excuse, really. I wish I had a desk at home where I could sit with my laptop, I would get a lot more done. When I'm in bed, I end up playing Sims 3 or SimCity. When I sit in my "pimp" chair, I end up playing Sims 3 or SimCity even more hardcore. Hehe. And when I sit on the couch, I end up playing with my PS3 or watching something. I need a desk! Or a dining room table at least. Somewhere I can sit and type away - like I'm doing now at work.

NaNo Failure

So it's been a month since I last blogged. Everyone probably thought I was busy getting my word count in for NaNo. Sadly, that is not the case. I didn't even make it to 5k. :(

They say that the ability to write is like a muscle and I've never been as aware of that as I was last month. I remember when I used to blog every day, when I would work on my erotic series, and participate in all sorts of writerly things. About two years ago, I decided to put everything on hold to pursue my theater dreams...now I am not going to get into the depressing details, but obviously things didn't work out. Anyway, it was foolish of me to think that after 2 years of not writing, that I would just pick up where I left off.

So the following are my excuses for not succeeding in NaNo this year:

1. I'm rusty. I couldn't make the words come out, and this wasn't me trying to edit as I wrote...I just couldn't form the story.

2. My story idea, though excited as I was to write, did not speak to me. Or I should say, my characters did not speak to me. I need my characters to talk to me, otherwise things become really difficult. They did not speak, not once. I think I wrote what I did just because I brainstormed and was genuinely excited with the idea.

3. The Sims 3 Seasons expansion pack came out in November. Now we all know my obsession with The Sims. I tried really hard to keep it at bay, and I think I did rather well. But at the end of the day, that was 1 hour a day that I could have been writing.

4. I got sick. I felt shitty! I slept the majority of my time.

5. I was (re)training for an account at work. When I got home from work, feeling under the weather as I was, I just didn't feel like doing anything.

6. I had to transition between my 8 a.m - 6:30 p.m shift to my new 7:15 p.m - 9:15 a.m. schedule. It took a minute to re-adjust myself.

and those are my excuses. But I can't dwell, or at least I refuse to dwell. I know what I have to do - get back to writing. Slowly, I'll be where I used to be, and then I'll surpass that as well. So my goal for the rest of the year and the new year, is to write more. More often and more words. Blogs, replies, chats, stories, etc. I gotta work my writing muscle any way I can. :)

Sims3 - Not just for playing

I usually have a bunch of characters in my head, waiting for me to tell their story. Because it has been over 2 years since I've written, I guess you could say my characters are dormant.

As you know from my previous post(s), I have decided to participate in this years NaNoWriMo and I needed to come up with a new story. Since all my characters are MIA I needed to come up with new ones. I first came up with the story idea, and then the names of my characters. By this point I have a vague idea of what they look like, but I need a stronger mental image. I decided to go into CAS (Create A Sim) and play around to see if I could come up with my characters. Conclusion: Sims 3 is an awesome way to get a clearer idea of what characters look like.

Meet Johanna Langley:

Superstar Anna:

Aiden Feare:

Beau Fiore:

My NaNo Story

I figured out what I'm writing for NaNoWriMo, and it took me less than a day to figure it out! Here is my synopsis:

Johanna Langley had one dream: to be a successful singer with thousands of fans. At 26, she was beginning to get desperate. Then one night she meets Beau Fiore who offers her dream in a silver platter...for a price. Johanna accepts and becomes the overnight sensation Anna; but the price she paid has hidden consequences. Now it's up to her number one fan and childhood friend, Aiden Feare to figure out what price Johanna paid for her fame and save her from her dream.

I'm super excited to get started.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that

Where does the time go? Had not realized it's been this long since I blogged. Work has got me a little busy. I'm not sure if I mentioned this or not...I got a job. :) Well, I should probably back up a bit...the awful warehouse job I got...I quit...3 hours after my second day. It was horrible, I couldn't do it. I am not cut out for it.

Desperate, I turned to Craigslist for job postings and there I found a CSR position. I emailed them my resume and they called me the next day. Turns out it was for the call center where I used to work at. My old supervisor saw my resume go through and had the HR person contact me immediately. He set up an interview for me to go see my old supervisor and when I went in for my "interview" she caught me up on the things that had changed and handed me a list of the available shifts and told me to pick the one I wanted. She even adjusted it slightly for me. She then said that I didn't really need to submit a resume or interview...and that was that. So I spent half of last week and half of the week before re-training on Healthy Directions, and by the beginning of last week I was ready to go out on my own. Unfortunately my desk wasn't ready so I had to wait until Wed, but I got my desk and I'm all set. This week is my first full week on my schedule - 10 hour shifts, which sucks, especially since they start at 8 a.m and I am NOT a morning person. But, I only work 4 days a week and I have Tuesday-Thursday off, and I really like that.

Ok, enough about work, blah blah blah, I'm boring myself. On to more exciting stuff. I decided to dust off my old NaNoWriMo profile and participate this year. I was MIA the last two years, but this year, I'm all for it. Now I have to come up with a story idea in 9 days...let's see what happens! I'm excited, I've missed it. This is my link in case you want to follow along or add me; http://nanowrimo.org/en/participants/saturnmoonie.

Well that's it for tonight. Let's see where things go from here. Until next time...