Small Progress

Yes I know, I’ve been a very bad blogger. And I do apologize. I’m trying the best I can but it’s a lil bit hard when you’re super depressed.

This week, however, I’m not as depressed. YAY. I caved, I’ll admit it. I called Darnell Wednesday night after 3 months. I don’t know why, maybe because I’m weak! Whatever the reason, there was a lot of talking (on his part), a lot of apologizing (also on his part) and a lot of crying (on my part, of course). I told him I didn’t know if I could be his friend because I love him so much, and it’s going to be hard having someone I love in front of me all the time and know I can’t have him.

Then Friday-because I’m weak, I tell ya!-I got roped into seeing his new apartment Saturday. I was very impressed. It’s in West Haven and it’s like a loft, sorta. The building used to be a school and they converted the classrooms into apartments. It’s awesome, I wish I lived in one of those apartments, they’re so me. Different. We spent Saturday afternoon together, then he dropped me off at my place early evening, only to end up going back to his place and spending the night. No, there was no hanky panky, I was a good girl! Well…there was kissing though…and I wasn’t SO good the next day…but I was a good girl that night! :P We talked some more, I did more talking this time. I also did more crying, but what can I say I’m an emotional being and my heart is broken, I get to cry. At the end of it all…I still don’t know where I am, and if I can be his friend without the hugging and kissing and other stuff. But at least my heart is better, for now.

This weekend I get to hang out with my guys! YAY! Who are my guys, you ask? Well, they’re CJ (a.k.a “my hubby”) and Rick (a.k.a Rick, lol or Sexy Rick when I want to embarrass him.) I met them online during NaNoWriMo. CJ is the ML for my county and Rick was a first year participant like me. We really hit it off, and we talk almost everyday online. We only got to meet up once during NaNo, and we’ve been trying to get together again. Finally, this Saturday is the day. :D I’m very excited, we shall do all kinds of crazy shenanigans.

Today I wrote a lil bit (besides this blog entry). So double YAYS. It’s a lil frustrating sometimes for me to write so slow. I wish I could write faster, but I haven’t been able to. I don’t know if it’s because it’s hard to write about love when you’re heart is broken or what. But hopefully I can get a lil bit more writing done now that I’m not constantly in my dark place. Cross your fingers please! So it’s small progress, but it’s still progress. I made it to 29,000. You know what that means: 1,000 more words and I’ll be at 30,000. WOW. No matter how much I bitch moan and complain, I’m still proud of my progress (though slow as it may be) because I’ve never written a story this long. I just need to keep my focus, and try not to obsess over it.

I have so much more to say, but this post is long enough. :D How was your weekend? Anything you wanna share? I’m here to listen.