Hmm

Yesterday was a really good day for me. It was weird, I hadn't even noticed at first. You see, I took one of my old journals to work w/ me, and I started flipping through, reading my old poetry...kind of wishing I could still write like that. And I stumbled upon my (in my opinion) best work. Which was the stuff I wrote after my best friend betrayed me (we're not gonna get into details, because frankly it's old news). Well it's been 2 1/2 years and let me tell you that I was not over it, I cried myself to sleep every night just thinking what I did to push her away. What happened? Well ususally if I read something that reminds me of her, I'll just fall into this really huge depressive state, and nobody can get me out. I basically cry for days without stopping. But I noticed after I read them, that the only thing on my mind was how I wish I could be that good of a writer again...and then it hit me: It didn't affect me like it usually did, and I haven't cried myself to sleep in weeks! Slowly but surely I got over it, and as it dawned on me, my face slowly stretched into the biggest smile that I've had in YEARS...and the best part is I suddenly felt like writing...so I did...and this is the end result.

Beginning Again

I write this with a smile of hope
A glimpse of the future
And maybe my happiness.
A look back I took
Of all my worst moments
Neither shame nor embarrasment
Covered my face
No tears of sadness
No thoughts of regret
I can safely say
That I'm O.K
The day is brighter
The sky is lighter
Things will be O.K
No more wishing for clocks to turn back
No more crying in bed in the dark
I am whole again
And I rejoice the rebirth of Jen