Long Time No Blog

She's alive!!!

I am shocked to see that I haven't blogged in such a long time. I mean, I knew it had been a while, but not 9 freaking months!

I went through a lot of weird stuff after I moved from CT to PA. You could say I was reborn...sort of.

You see, I put my dreams of becoming a published author aside to pursue my biggest dream of all: Theater.

I don't want to come off as the type of person that can't make up their minds about what they want out of life, or the type of person that never finishes anything, never follows through. That isn't who I am.

I didn't get tired of writing. I didn't stop loving to write. I didn't give up.

I had a really good publishing company show interest in my story. They wanted me to do some more revisions and rewrite it a bit, and if I was willing to do that they wanted me to resubmit it with a possible book contract. That was exciting, daunting, and downright awesome! I knew I could sit down and rewrite it. Yes, it was going to be hard work, but I was up for it.

But then something happened.

I realized - really realized - that I was a writer. I wasn't published, but I was a writer. I had spent the last 2 years networking, and talking with authors, reading and writing, working on my stories. I finished the first part of The Cotton Candy Girls series - something that I honestly thought I was never going to be able to do. And I finished the second part too! I was capable of writing a story with a beginning, middle, and end. I was a writer. If I threw myself into my revision and did it well enough to get offered a contract, I would get published. Then I would work on revising the second part, and writing the third part of the series, and so on and so forth.

Don't get me wrong, all that sounded wonderful. But there was a part of me that wasn't happy. I love to write, but no matter how much I love it, and how much I want to do it; I want to do theater so much more. I let others intimidate me and make me doubt my talent, and I let my mother bully me into giving it up. I never had a chance to try to succeed, to try to achieve my dream. That is not fair. I did not want to become an author and have my happiness diminished because a part of me would always regret not trying and not knowing if I could make it as an actress.

Part of me felt it may be too late. I wasted 6 years. But another part of me thought I still had a chance. I still had a small window of opportunity to realize my biggest dream of all. I've never done things the "right" way but I've had the same results.

So I'm giving myself this chance. I can always be a writer and pick up where I left off.

Now that we're on the same page, I can move on to what I really wanted to blog about:

In order to be a successful actor and get the roles that I want - the lead - I have to work on 3 issues.

1. My pitches - I'm slightly off pitch at times. It's not all that noticeable, but the important people will notice and I'll never get passed an audition. (BTW, Musical Theater is my goal, just in case you got confused when I started talking about pitches)
2. My age - I'm 24 going on 25 now, if I get into the school I'm applying for I won't start until Fall 2011. I'll be 25 almost 26 by then. I'm a soprano and sopranos mature vocally faster than all other singers. Their peak voice age is 23-25, it's when their voice completely grows up and is ready. I need to get in NCC and get out ASAP. I don't have time to explore other interests, I need to take the required classes and get out there before I'm too old to play the lead. Thankfully I don't look old. But this is still a concern.
3. My weight - This is my biggest problem. I am very overweight. I can't move around stage, dance, and sing if I'm not in shape. I need to lose weight and I need to lose a considerable amount. In theory, if I show signs of losing weight the entire time, I have about 4 years to get to my ideal weight. They need to see that I'm serious about this and that I am constantly improving my fitness level, otherwise they won't cast me. Musical leads are not fat, except for Hairspray, but I don't want to be "the fat girl from Hairspray".

So starting tomorrow I'm all about losing weight. In a healthy way, of course! I read the Body-For-Life book and my goal is to lose 20 pounds in 14 weeks. That's 3 months. I will be exercising 6 days a week, alternating each day from cardio to weight training. I'm also going to be eating healthier. 6 days a week, I'll eat 6 small meals a day consisting of 1 part protein and 1 part carbohydrates. I will also add a vegetable on 2 of the 6 meals. Sundays will be my free days where I don't exercise and I eat whatever I want. Don't worry it's part of the routine, it's in the book, I did not just randomly decide to give myself a free day. :P

I will be blogging daily to let everyone know how I'm doing. I'll tell you what I ate and what exercises I did. If I need to vent, bitch, moan, complain, etc, I will do so here. That means I may have multiple blogs a day.

Get ready, because the next 84 days are going to be interesting.