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Saturday, May 11, 2013

Motivation Or Lack Of...

There are days, actually nights - usually when I'm at work, where I have all this energy and want to do a million things, but can't because I'm stuck at work. I vow to do this and that during the week when I'm off...then the week comes and I do nothing. Literally, nothing. I spend my time off either on the couch or in bed. Playing video games and watching stuff. It's great, but not so great. I like doing it...but I get bored at the same time and terribly lonely. Maybe if I could do nothing with someone...

But the weather is getting really nice and I want to do other things. Like go to a carnival or go to the park. Go for a walk. Maybe go to the mall and window shop...or do some real shopping. Heh. I'm wasting my life and I keep telling myself that I need to go out there and enjoy it while I still can...but I never do. I've been telling myself this since high school...I'm 27...I've wasted over a decade already. I remember thinking that when I was out of high school and in my 20's that my self confidence would be greater, that I would do all these things...that my life would finally begin. But it didn't, at least not in the way I hoped. And I only have myself to blame for that.