I hate the holidays...

Bahumbug! That's what I gotta say!

I was so excited for Christmas to arrive, to give and receive presents, to see my mom, to eat pig's feet, to get a cake, to blow out candles, to hear people I care about sing me Happy Birthday...well not a lot of that happened.

I spent the entire time fighting with my mother, she even had the audacity to send me to my room. Err, excuse me CARMEN, but it's MY damn house, and ain't nobody sending me NOWHERE! I got no cake, no one sang me Happy Birthday, and all this holiday season brought upon was headaches, arguments, and lack of cash.

I took off 2 extra days off from work (that I will not get paid for) just so I can finish Operation Clean House, and greet my mother because she decided (without informing anybody else) that she was coming a whole 12 hours earlier.

Then she completely disregards anything I say, including that she is not allowed to smoke in my house. Well she does it anyways, and I almost get evicted out of my apartment because of it. Do you think she cares? Nope! She doesn't even care that her smoking sent my neighbor's 2 year-old girl to the hospital. But I'm not gonna get into THAT because the whole thing left me so livid, that my step-dad/boss told me to take a shot of Moonshine and go home (3 more hours of work I missed cuz of her).

On top of that, me and Darnell called it quits to our...um...friendship+ and that's got me feeling super blah. The sad thing is, even with us not speaking to eachother, he was still nicer to me than other people (like my MOTHER) and made me a Lemon Meringue Pie, YUM. Which I call my Birthday Pie :/

All in all, this was yet another birthday that was ruined by my mother, and another birthday where I got my heart broken. Why do they always wait till my birthday??? *shrugs* Who knows.

Oh well....Happy 23rd Birthday Jen.

Looky What I found...

So I was working on Operation: Clean House today; I was cleaning my room, not done btw, and as I was cleaning I found the lyrics I wrote a while ago...and as I sat down to read them I thought, hey, that's interesting, I wrote that? LOL. It's been a while since I wrote it. Thought I'd share it here. :P



Rip You Off

At times my head is empty.
At times it buzzes with noise.
I can't pick up a thought,
I can't pick up a reason.
Incapable of pinpointing an emotion,
A reason.
All I get is a name
(I try to throw it back)
Glue on my hands make it impossible to supress.

(Chorus)
Why can't I rip you off?
I need to tear you down.
The voices in my head,
I think they say 'I want you'

I want you
I want you

I need you
I loathe you.

Thursday morning.
I sit in silence.
Wondering, pondering
Obsessing, confessing,
All the things about you that I secretely love.
All the things about you I pretend that I don't.

(Chorus)
Why can't I rip you off?
I need to tear you down.
The voices in my head,
I think they say 'I love you'

I love you
I love you

I need you
I loathe you

(Bridge)
And all the while
You are oblivious
That I want you (so very)
So very much.
And all the while
I am oblivious
That you never have
And you never will...

(Chorus)
Why can't I rip you off?
I need to tear you down
The voices in my head
I think they say 'I care'

(I care...)
I care...
(I care...)
I care...
...But I could be wrong
Like I said before:
At times my head is empty.
At times it buzzes with noise.
I can't pick up a thought,
I can't pick up a reason...

...(Why can't I rip you off?)

One of those days...

It's one of those days, those lonely days where I wish I had a boyfriend soooooo bad! *sighs* I'm sort of having a conversation about it, and this is what I said.

"I need some hand holding and hugs and kisses and snuggles and flowers and just because gifts and I was thinking about you phone calls."

Sorry for the lack of commas and what-nots haha. Oh and my friend said this in response to that...

"What's your number?" HAHA He was joking of course.

It's kinda hard to work on a romance novel when you don't feel love...hehe yeah I know guys I'm wallowing...well...it's my blog so lemme wallow!!!

Operation Tap Out That Mutha

NaNoWrimo is officially over, and I didn't make the 50,000, I only made it up to 24,700 or something like that. Now a big part of me is disappointed because I really wanted to cross the finish line. But another part of me is just proud that I wrote and I stuck with it and that I wrote that many words! I've never written anything this long before...and I'm not finished. Just because I didn't win NaNo doesn't mean I'm quitting, I still have a novel to finish writing, thus Operation Tap Out That Mutha is oooon.

Crystal-Rain Love came up with this concept (along with the hilariously awesome name)because she's trying to finish her current novel, and she asked that we make sure she stays on top of things. Well since I have no life of my own, and I've grown very fond of Rain (she's such a great gal)I've decided to be all up on her Black Cherry Kool-Aid, and join her and trying to accomplish our own set goals. Mine being to finish my novel and read more books so I can review them on my Book Universe Blog.

On a quick upadate...I bought a new laptop yesterday, it should arrive around the 5th. I had so much drama with it because I first found the perfect laptop, a Sony Viao in pink (my fav. color) and it was on sale if I bought it online. It was only going to cost around $1,069. Then it went on Black Friday Sale until Monday, so then it was only going to cost $900.99. So here I am running about trying to get the rest of my money together by Monday to buy the darn thing, and THEN....Someone points out anothe website that's having an online Monday sale and they're selling a $2,000 Sony Viao for only $700.00!!! Now this is where all the crazyness began because the cheaper laptop was a different model than the one I was going to get. It was also black...I REALLY had my heart set on the pink one. Well even though the black one wasn't PINK and the keyboard and outer shell weren't as cute/pretty as the pink one, I bought the black one.

Why? Because it was CHEAPER, and because it had a bigger screen (17 inches vs 14 inches on my pink baby). The lappy I have now is 17 inch and I love the size of the screen. If I'm going to play Sims 2 AND 3 I need a BIG screen. :D So I rushed to do what I needed to do and bought the laptop and a flashdrive too, hehe. I'm still going to use my old laptop, and I'll probably take it to work w/ me so the flashdrive will come in handy when I want to work on a novel or read an e-book and it's only in one laptop. But hey at least I have more money for Christmas shopping!